Need you so badly as things get worse each day
I thought things would begin to get better as the months pass Joe, but it is all falling apart and so have I. I finally had that nervous breakdown. Went to our doc yesterday and he doesnt knwo what to do anymore . Gvae me anti depressents but I have not used them. He keeps saying I need sleep, same as you always did..but I cannot sleep anymore.
WHo turned in our basement tenant Joe..you know now who did it the other times, finally. Well they did it again only now I have to let the city inspectors in on march 1 to check the basement. All that work you did to make it look so nice I have to have ripped out now. Our tenants are now living in our bedrooms up here till they find a place..I hope the dont get to comfortable. I need my space and alone time. This is so hard JOe, so hard.
I dread the mail each day to see if your family is sending another legal letter for money. I dread to wake up without you. I dread that I have to empty and sell our home now without a tenant and rent. I dread cramming back into that little apartment with Nicole in brooklyn and eveyrone there always looking at me with a cane. The poor girl, disabled, divorced and now widowed so young is all you hear. I hate it, so I dont step out the door when I get there. What I will do with our Abbey cat? You know I cant put her with my daughters cat. He is vicious and will hurt her so I am so stuck. I would die if I had to give her up too...your pincess Abbey gives me so much comfort.
Please let me know your around me. I never feel you, not even in my heart anymore. Did I do something wrong Joe or is it just the stress overtaking me. I wish you could figure out what is physically wrong iwth me since the docs never could give me one straight answer. I cannot walk or function still and I dont have you to help me.
I miss you and I love you and I hate that your family is staying such things about you and making it look like you did so many bad things to them to save themselve.
I will defend you till the end. Please come to me and guide me one last time.
WHo turned in our basement tenant Joe..you know now who did it the other times, finally. Well they did it again only now I have to let the city inspectors in on march 1 to check the basement. All that work you did to make it look so nice I have to have ripped out now. Our tenants are now living in our bedrooms up here till they find a place..I hope the dont get to comfortable. I need my space and alone time. This is so hard JOe, so hard.
I dread the mail each day to see if your family is sending another legal letter for money. I dread to wake up without you. I dread that I have to empty and sell our home now without a tenant and rent. I dread cramming back into that little apartment with Nicole in brooklyn and eveyrone there always looking at me with a cane. The poor girl, disabled, divorced and now widowed so young is all you hear. I hate it, so I dont step out the door when I get there. What I will do with our Abbey cat? You know I cant put her with my daughters cat. He is vicious and will hurt her so I am so stuck. I would die if I had to give her up too...your pincess Abbey gives me so much comfort.
Please let me know your around me. I never feel you, not even in my heart anymore. Did I do something wrong Joe or is it just the stress overtaking me. I wish you could figure out what is physically wrong iwth me since the docs never could give me one straight answer. I cannot walk or function still and I dont have you to help me.
I miss you and I love you and I hate that your family is staying such things about you and making it look like you did so many bad things to them to save themselve.
I will defend you till the end. Please come to me and guide me one last time.
Replies
Awe Ann, I had not heard from you and I was wondering what was going on with you.
I am so sorry it is getting so out of hand for you. I am also very concerned you are having such a horrible time with this.
There is always a reason things happen in our lives Ann. I know you do not want the tenant up in your home, so close to you. The idea of staying alone and your own privacy is understandable but it also can turn you into a hermit.
I know, I am just beginning to get out into the world again from being a hermit.
God may have your tenants up there for you in a different way, you may need their company and possibly they may need you too.
If you were to get another roommate it could help you stay in your home.You would not have to give up Abbey cat and you could afford the mortgage if you rent out two rooms.
I know you prayed and God will answer your prayers but sometimes it is not in what we think we need, we see from a human vantage point and what we think we need, may just fix our problem temporarily.
God sees our problems from a different vantage point that shows him the future too, he knows exactly what we need.
If you are not to go back to live with Nicole, you are meant to stay in your home and it already looks like God wants you to think about roommates.
This would help you with you by not being alone in case you need someone to help you incase you become to weak in your illness, it will help you to have someone to talk to and also when you have someone to talk to it does not let you sit alone and dwell in your pain (that would lead to deep depression).
Also, a roommate could help with cooking (maybe you are not eating right and they can help you to get back on track with that too).
Ann, I know about wanting to be alone, I know about not wanting to share your privacy with a stranger but I also know what staying alone can bring too. Deep depression that can lead to such fatal results.
I have been praying for you and what happens in your life is not coincident, it happens because your life will change for the good.
Hugs,
Judy
Hi Ann, I think Judy is right on point here. Sometimes when God answers prayer it is not always the way we think it should be. Maybe having someone with you now is a good thing. You really should not be alone now because of physical and emotional reasons. Get a lawyer quick. This is wrong on so many levels. The roommate situation doesn\'t have to be permanent but it can benefit you now. Try to look at the positive side of it. I know its difficult to see the other side when things are so dark now. I hope you got my message I sent to you. I am truly praying for you and I know that God answers prayer. He is not going to leave you alone. As for some alone time, that is doable. I am sure they will also want alone time also. The main thing is to try to regain your strength. Next get a lawyer and fight for what Joe meant for you to have. If money is a problem I am sure there are lawyers who will work pro bono or work with you.
Hugs, Anne
Ann,
Just wanted to let you know, I asked all the ladies in my church group to lift you up in prayer too. We all feel that God is already working in your life.
Hugs,
Judy