Need to vent

Actually it all started December 22nd 2019. Later in the afternoon that I noticed my left ear was starting to feel hot. I ignored it for awhile. Around 10 or so it was burning got along with part of my neck. Went and looked in the mirror and wanted to cry because I knew facial cellulitis had struck again. I called the dr. on call who happened to be my dr. He said get ready and get to the hospital. I took my time before calling the ambulance. Left here about 12:15. As soon as I was in a room in the ed the dr. Was in there looked said I will get you admitted. The nurse came in have me a wonderful dose of dialysis then started the antibiotic. Next I was in my way upstairs to my room. The hospital has Drs that they call hospitalized 24\7 supposedly since no Dr came to see me all night, therefore I did not get my bedtime meds. I also did not get my morning meds because a Dr still had not seen me. It was 11:45 before a Dr showed up. The first thing he saw was that my ankles and feet were slightly swollen so he took me off my no water med and started me on saline. I was given 30lbs of fluid. I still had not gotten my meds and unbeknownst to me I had to ask for them because they are all written as needed because I have max amounts I can take. Now I have been taking valium for many years and going without I could have had a seizure. I asked the nurse when I would be getting my meds and she said "oh you have to ask for them because they are as needed" I told her I want all of them right now. Before I could get them I was taken over to the professional bldg to see the ent since my ear had the cellulitis. We figured  out it most likely came from a rash behind my ear that I had scratched open. He ordered a cream for it and the dr at the hospital said no. Now the ent I knew as he had done sinus surgery on me some years back and he remembered me. He had told me his partner would be by in the morning to see me but after the disagreement the day before he showed up to make sure I was treated right. Now this was Christmas eve day and I wanted to go home. Was shocked that I got to because I should have had 48 hours of antibiotics. I

Christmas was ok but I really was not up to it but I endure and got time with my grandson. I was so bloated from all that saline. My temp decided to go up and I was back in the ed on Sunday after Christmas because I was also having trouble breathing. Had chest x-rays and then a ct scan. The scan came back saying my lungs had what they called broken glass looks to part of them. X-rays showed possible pneumonia from fluid getting them from my hospital stay. Was out on a water pill told to nebulizer 4 times a day, use rescue inhaler 3 times a day and use been once a day. Then make an appointment with my pulmonologist. Saw him and he was quite concerned and frustrated. He ordered me to have an echocardiogram. Then come back in 1-2 weeks to see him. Well it was a month before I was able to see him ( this was just last week). The echo came back perfect. So he ordered chest x-rays again and blood work. Blood work came back good but x-rays still showed pneumonia so more antibiotics and get x-rays then see him same day right after the x-rays in a month. I am still very weak, do not feel the antibiotic is working but he wants me to continue you to take it and wait 5 days once I am finished with it to let him know if I am still so bad. I can't even stand long enough to make a couple of eggs and toast. 

Along with all this was Friday my cat Skippy got really sick with screaming before vomitting. Late afternoon he quit eating all together. Now he was my personable, cuddler boy. Well no more he went in my room and his under my bed. Every once in a while came out to try to drink and that didn't stay in either and got foamy. He was up to date on shots. I called the vet on Saturday but had to wait until Monday . He went down hill very quickly and lost a lot of weight in just a couple of days. I went in to hold him and when I touched his right hindquarters he just cried. Jack my other car stayed out of my room as he knew Skippy was dying. Monday the vet called asked what was going on and agreed he needed to be out down. She said she would be over in 15 minutes. I put Jack in the bathroom and went and picked up Skippy in a blanket and rocked with him until she got here. I told him how much I loved him and said I was so sad he was so sick  have him kisses etc. She got here checked him over a bit and agreed the only humane thing was to put him down. He had gone blind also over the weekend. First she gave home a tranquilizer which had the opposite affect. Then about  5 minutes later she gave him the 2nd shot. He was really squirming trying to get away. So she said she had to speed it up. So she gave him 2 more shots and he stopped moving. She had one more shot to give yet. My lovable, but pain in the butt Skippy was gone. I started crying as she took him out of the blanket and I opened it up all the way and she laid him in it made sure he was gone. No heartbeat or any noise. She then swaddled him like a baby in the blanket. I kept him because he was going out to my sons to have his body taken care of. It was like date that shortly after that my son called and was done with work and in his way. Poor Jack was just lost looking for him. He kept pretty close to me the rest of Monday and all day Tuesday now today I found him where Skippy had been hiding under my bed. Hoping to vacuum in there really good. I and the vet do not thing it was anything other than she and his kidneys and liver shut down. So am not worried that Jack will get anything just want to get as much of Skippy gone.

I am tired of being sick and stressed out to the max. Having to go through putting the first let down out of all the pets I had at age 60 was traumatic. I sure hope and pray things turn around soon because I just can not take anymore.

Now at 4:30 today I got this burning pain going down my shoulder/back about 6 inches. At 3:30AM it is no better. I had gone to dinner with my friend and had planned on getting a few groceries but told her I could not. As soon as I got home I fell asleep. She called a little over an hour later and I just said I am sorry but I have to sleep. I woke up at 12:30 and am just about ready to go back to sleep.

Thanks for reading my rant. I really am getting to my ropes end. Enough is enough for 1 person to go through.

Btw the one good thing while we were putting Skippy down Jerred was shining for mom!