Need to learn to let it go

I have so much guilt, and each time I separate myself from gambling, start to regain my self-respect, I still think about how much money I have lost, how many things we could have done with that money, and even though I know damn well I can't win it back, I still find myself trying.  Even have won, not nearly as much as I have lost, but a good amount of money, and sit there and put it back in.  Plain ol' stupidity is what it is. No excuses for it. So pissed at myself, again, and again.  I know that everything I want, that our family wants, is available to us if I can just stop.  Things we lack now, are because of me... and I so wish I could take every moment every stupid mistake back...even the moments where I won because they are the moments that caused this addiction.  Many nights coming home with $1,500 or more with my hubby after a night out...and a $4,500 jackpot I won all by myself...blown. Put back into it....and more. Stupid stupid stupid! Financially hurting, when we don't need to be...ugh.  My daughter is a freshman in high school this year, and we could be taking atleast one family vacation each year if not more, and I keep blowing that.  Soon, she will be off to college and it will be too late.  Soon, she will need her own car, easily provided IF I CAN STOP!!! We have college to pay for, and nothing saved up...this has got to stop.  I pray next time I think "I can just win some of it back" I read this first before trying.