need to get this off my chest

Hi, i was raped by my boyfriend 3 years ago, i ended the relationship a few weeks after it happened and a few months later he managed to talk me into getting back together with him saying that he was sorry and that he didnt mean to he just lost control.

Just recently i have been really short tempered and snappy and crying all the time especially at night. i think its because i have kept what happened inside for so long with no one to talk to and everytime i have tried to deal with it in the past something has always prevented me, e.g my grandmother died, my little sister got herself pregnant (she was only 15 at the time) and my dog has recently died. I just feel so angry and really stupid for letting him talk me into getting back with him, i cant trust him and everytime he touches me i just want to hit him.

i know i need help and i have even considered taking a trip to the doctor to get some proffesional help, i just dont know what to do, does anyone have any advice?