Need the happy

♥Today, I am hurting. I couldn't get off the couch and Nick got mad because he had to finish doing the dinner I started and do kids bath at same time. He is always so mad at me for being sick, I really need the happy. I am hurting so bad and my stomach hurts. Bitches at work had the heat up to 80 today got sick 3 times from heat Tammy came in a saved me at the end of the day, I think Emily was annoyed I spent so much time in the lab today. Janet acknowledged that I have a chronic illness today felt good to have someone get it for a change. I have to get a FMLA form filled out I really don't want the absences to nail me again on next years assessment. Cat is being loving today, make me wonder if im dying if furb is being nice. Mentally I can't trust myself I have been in so much pain lately im not making smart choices and I'm worried I might hurt myself on accident trying to make the pain stop. I need to remember to take more ebsan salt baths. The pain is getting out of control I have to get up to take meds but can't. It's raining today wonder if that is messing with my pain I know snow messes with me but rain I should research that. To myself: you are important ,you are pretty and smart, it does matter that you are hurting all the time and you are loved don't let the crap thoughts pull you down.