Need some sun over here.

  As the title says I need it very bad. It's been cold the last couple of weeks, with an icy snowstorm on Thursday, and nor rain through all week. Ahhhhhhhh! Could alway's be worse as they say.

   Don't have anything planned today, so I think I'll work on the stairs for a couple of hours, and do some of my fourth step. Still dragging my ass a bit on both of those. In the past, I seemed to have a lot more motivation in doing things, but lately, I seem to have to really push myself to do anything. It makes me wonder if I'm getting old or something. Nah, I'm not getting old yet. Still got some spunk in me still.

   Seen my sponsor yesterday to do some Big Book study. It's nice getting out and seeing him. We have some laughs and talk, but the way we study the book doesn't make a lot of sense to me. We circle most of what we read and write things along with stuff. Seems to more make a mess of a good big. It does make you slow down and talk about things at times. At other times it seems like just a pain in the ass. I suppose it is helping in ways I may not be seeing yet. I find that often it's in hindsight that we see the real value.

   We got to reading a part about letting God be the one in charge of life, and how practicing that can relieve us of worry, depression, our fears...etc. It's so true, but can be hard to practice or remember when our lives become hectic or filled with doubt or fears that prevent us from it. It started me thinking that I need to work on that a lot more. I need to find some ways that will remind me throughout the day that God is in charge. Actually the whole spiritual aspect I need to work on when I think about it. I always consider myself to be spiritual, but the truth is that I only remember anything about it is only a fraction of my waking hours. This will be a goal of mine today. Set up some concrete things that will help me develop my spiritual relationship with God, " my Higher Power."

   So, yup!, I guess this is what's called a boring day. I'm finding that when I go through these type of times being boring doesn't seem so awful like it used to in my drinking days. I'm more just accepting of it as just a different day and part of life. Like everything else, these times can have a purpose. They can be used to rest or do things that need to be done, or that you normally don't want to do. Anyway, I'm just starting to ramble on, and wasting too much time on this computer. Have to keep that in check too.

    So, thank you, Lord, for another day to be sober and to grow in the ways you would have me grow. Not in the ways of my own choosing. Thank you.