Need help

I think my mother gets off on being a bitch and putting me down, I try to have a more positive outlook on life and she has to say I'm fat, say Alex hair makes him look quire, and I has to berate me on my ex wife, and try to tell me Beth is taking crack because she is losing a bunch of weight. I wouldn't tell my mom this but I hate going over there sometimes I feel awkward, I feel like a litte kid that I need her approval for everything I do, she has to like anybody I like, she has to like every decision I make, and If I dare do sometime she doesnt like then all hell breaks lose. Im so sick of the lady. I have no feelings for her, and I don't wont to go over there but I have this deep down I want a normal mother and want her approval, so I keep going over there. I know she is one of the reason I'm screwed up, but I guess I give her the power. I don't want to go around negative people how do I tell my mother I don't want to be around her.