need help.

i wish i could sleep. but i can't. even if i take sleeping pills they generaly don't do anything. i have to be really tired before i take then and then i just pass out. i want to be able to just fall asleep like anyother normal person. or i want my pills to make me fall asleep. maybe i should go to my doc and ask for some real sleeping pills. because the one's i have don't work very well. well they prolly would on someone who could sleep but i can't. my mind keeps going keeps thinking. thinking of the past, future, and of my day. i think of what i need to do the next day or what i forgot to do. it just keeps going on to the next thing. and i guess im just scared to sleep. scared that i'll be hurt again. like when i was a kid. i get so frustrated sometimes that all i can do is cry. cry myself to sleep. like right now it's 1.11 am and i set my alarm to wake me up at 6:30 am so i can get ready for drill team that is at 7. how can i not be tired right now?! i ran about 5 miles tonight. i didn't get home from xc till about 10. then i ate a lil then showered, brushed my teeth and washed my face. normal ppl would be sleeping right now! i know all my xc girls are! but i sit here wide awake. bored!  tomorrow i take my senior athleic pic. we have this like poster and all the senior athletes get a pic together and they wear their uniform/s and we take a pic and so on the poster it will show our pic and then under that will be all the sport events and their dates and times. and speaking of senior pics i still have to take mine lol. but i haven't even gone shopping for new clothes so i want to do that first before i take mine but i have all year to take them so im not really in a huge rush lol. so i think im fucked for college. i really wanted to get into UCLA but that was never going to happen. that school is way way hard to get into! A girl in my class sent her SAT scores there and she never heard back from them never got anything. i think she did pretty well on them. she usually get's A's maybe a few B's here and there but usually A's so if she didn't even hear anything back from them then there is no way in hell they will even take time to look at mine. im about more average in my grades i get about everything but mostly C's and B's i have to work really hard to get those. im not very good at school, i loose focus really easy and it's hard for me to consentrate. so i have to study really hard. But ugh im fuck! i never took my SAt's i never really knew when they were till it was to late to signe up. and so i never took my junior year SAT's. so idk what to do now. everytime i think about that when i think about my SAT's it makes me want to commit suicide!! i never took it cuz i was scared. i was scared i would do really bad. so i just keept saying o ill do the next one. ugh i can't believe i fucked up! do SAT's matter for a community college? cuz that's where ill prolly go. and then transfer to another school. please please PLEASE kill me!!!!!!!