Nauvoo Morning 2

I doesn't know, I only believe the psychic gears are shifting. The quiet voice whispering through my meditations is encouraging me to nurture openness more than knowledge. What I need to know will be made available to me when the time is right. The awareness to recognize when the time is right is more important than all the knowledge in the world. Knowledge sees how to. Wisdom sees when to. Timing counts.

I have been putting out feelers to my busy man. I don't much like my beloved when he is a busy man. In his busy mode, he looks more like a Corporate Raider than the atheletic poet I married. He has spent allot of time in super busy mode since his father's decline gained undeniable momentum a year or three ago. It has been an exhausting run for both of us and a major shift for the entire family dynamic. I already knew he is still busy. Even the poet I married liked his days full and comitted. That is rare quality in a poet and among my favorite things about him. It is a balance I wish for my own life. Alas, the only thing harder than finding a balance is keeping a balance. The equation of life keeps shifting variables.

Among the retirement options Hubs and I have discussed is retiring outside his generational home state of Texas. He spent his early childhood in California, but started Junior High School in Houston. His family is deeply rooted throughout Texas, from the Panhandle to the Gulf Coast. Those roots are deep, butnae very functional. Our adult children donae feel any more comfortable calling cousins on his side than on my estranged branch of the family tree. Such is life in the 21st Century? So far, at least. The century is still young.

While I was enchanted with Hubs's deeply rooted life, he was enchanted with the wandering wonders of my rootless life. Some might call it, "Freedom" but I go with Kris Kristofferson, via Janis Joplin (Me and Bobby McGee) on this one. "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. Freedom ain't worth nothin' but it's free." Hubs is a big man and doesnae ride comfortably in most of the available travel options. Sometimes I believe he most enjoys travelling vicariously, through my restless wanders. When we have discussed the option of his retiring outside of Texas. . . Bet you already know who introduced THAT option to his retirement dialog. . . Hubs has played along, but I feel more patronized than engaged in the plays.

Dunno how that story will end, but my attention seems to be gaining focus on that four State region which holds the confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers. We see what grows.