Narcissist Survivor

   OK, 17 yrs ago I married my wife, she was 31 and I was 45. Thats a whole nother subjectI wont get into, the difficulty with age difference. Anyway I did not know what a narcissist was at that time. It was not until 8 yrs later when she started cheating on me. some were weekend flings and some lasted months, and that is just the ones I knew about. She lives a life of lies and deception in everything she does. By this time we had 2 young boys, and at first I told myself I would stay for them. Mainly because she said if I didnt she would run off and I would never see them again, this I believed. Just to prove it to me she took our sons on Dec 7th 2009 and didnt bring them  back or let me see or talk to them until she showed up Jan 15th 2010. So I stayed and tollerated untill 12/20/2013 she was arrested and went to prison for 3 yrs. My stupidity got worse and I waited for her. She made all these promises and said she was so sorry for all that she had done, tears and all I fell for it. Guess I loved her so much I wanted to bekieve in her. She always made all these promises during our talks on the phone. She was going to be the wife I always wanted when she got out and came home.

I didnt know what a narcissist was at that point. The boys and I went without many months during that time, so we could send her money and things. You see im disabled and on a fixed income, but we survived. The day I picked her up from prison, 12/20/2013, she had over $2000 on her books that she got other guys to send her, I think they call it fishing. She was very very cold toward me, not what I expected from my wife after being gone 3 yrs. It never got any better, actually got worse, as she refused to sleep with me. Days turned to week turned to months and then yrs. Whenever I tried to talk to her about it she would get mad at me and say she cant explain it cause she doesnt know whats wrong. I never could get her to understand what hurt she was causing.

One day I was reading and came across and article on Narcissism, 10 things a Narc does. I was shocked when I recognised all 10. So I started researching the subject. Thats when I discovered that a Narcissitic Sociopath describes her perfectly to a T. For her 32nd birthday she was trying to buy a new Hyndai Elantra, but could not get it financed. For her birthday I called my credit card company and asked if they financed cars. The next day I had a cert check fed exed to me for $14,183.00 and bought her car. When she went to prison my credit score was 256, from things she had done. By the time she got out I had built it back up to 550. She has been home for 2 1/2 yrs now and its down to 400. She lies, cheats, steals my money, opens bank accts and other accts in my name. does pay the bills. So you would think I would be happy she left. I tell myself I am, but my heart knows better. I am hurting, lonely and depressed from a broken heart. I feel totally stupid for feeling this way, though before her I really didnt know what Love really was. 

My boys, both teenagers choose to live with me. They are old enough to see what she is and what she does. No I do not say things to them at all, and I teach them never to disrespect their Mom no matter what. But they do tell me on my bad days, " Dad we are much better off with Mom gone, cause bills are getting paid and finances are better." 

I could go on forever on the things she does, but it would be a novel. 

Thank you for listening to my story !