Narcissism
Narcissism as a defense against core shame, defined as an internal sense of damage, defect or ugliness. Core shame takes root in the earliest months and years of life and results from gross failures in parenting and attachment: a severely depressed mother, a physically absent father, drug or alcohol abuse, violent parental discord, etc
Because the experience of core shame is unbearably painful, the growing child may develop a false and idealized self-image to ward it off, a “winner” self-identity meant to deny and disprove the experience of being ugly, damaged, or defective – that is, a “loser.” Defending this winner self-image often depends upon identifying someone else as the loser.
While some people who are shamed by their parents succumb to depression and a sense of inferiority, others develop a defensive identity to ward off the shame. An idealized false self embodies that defense, where defensive character traits (contempt, blaming, self-righteousness, etc.) become embedded in the winner personality. The Extreme Narcissist feels this defensive personality as synonymous with the self and has no conscious awareness of the core shame behind it.
...five different types of Extreme Narcissism with their prominent features:
The Bullying NarcissistBuilds up his or her self-image by persecuting you and making you feel like a loser.
The Seductive NarcissistMakes you feel good about yourself, as if you’re a winner, in order to secure your admiration … then dumps you.
The Know-It-All NarcissistConstantly demonstrates superior knowledge in order to make others feel ignorant, uninformed, and inferior.
The Vindictive NarcissistWhen challenged or wounded, will do everything possible to destroy the perceived cause of shame.
The Addicted NarcissistSeeks fulfillment of an idealized self through drugs, sex, or fantasy, in ways that are often invisible to outsiders.
The adult children of narcissistic parents are attuned to the needs and expectations of self-absorbed people because this is how they survived childhood.
The adult children of narcissistic parents are attuned to the needs and expectations of self-absorbed people because this is how they survived childhood. Each new relationship revives the hope that this time, at long last, someone will give them the love and full acceptance they have always longed for.- TOTALLY ME
http://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2015/07/06/how-extreme-narcissism-wreaks-havoc-on-your-life-and-what-to-do-about-it/3/
The 6 most toxic and common behaviors:
Taking everything personally
Obsessing about negative thoughts
Treating yourself like a victim
Cruelty - lacking in empathy or putting yourself in others shoes
Excessive reactivity
Needing constant validation
Because the experience of core shame is unbearably painful, the growing child may develop a false and idealized self-image to ward it off, a “winner” self-identity meant to deny and disprove the experience of being ugly, damaged, or defective – that is, a “loser.” Defending this winner self-image often depends upon identifying someone else as the loser.
While some people who are shamed by their parents succumb to depression and a sense of inferiority, others develop a defensive identity to ward off the shame. An idealized false self embodies that defense, where defensive character traits (contempt, blaming, self-righteousness, etc.) become embedded in the winner personality. The Extreme Narcissist feels this defensive personality as synonymous with the self and has no conscious awareness of the core shame behind it.
...five different types of Extreme Narcissism with their prominent features:
The Bullying NarcissistBuilds up his or her self-image by persecuting you and making you feel like a loser.
The Seductive NarcissistMakes you feel good about yourself, as if you’re a winner, in order to secure your admiration … then dumps you.
The Know-It-All NarcissistConstantly demonstrates superior knowledge in order to make others feel ignorant, uninformed, and inferior.
The Vindictive NarcissistWhen challenged or wounded, will do everything possible to destroy the perceived cause of shame.
The Addicted NarcissistSeeks fulfillment of an idealized self through drugs, sex, or fantasy, in ways that are often invisible to outsiders.
The adult children of narcissistic parents are attuned to the needs and expectations of self-absorbed people because this is how they survived childhood.
The adult children of narcissistic parents are attuned to the needs and expectations of self-absorbed people because this is how they survived childhood. Each new relationship revives the hope that this time, at long last, someone will give them the love and full acceptance they have always longed for.- TOTALLY ME
http://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2015/07/06/how-extreme-narcissism-wreaks-havoc-on-your-life-and-what-to-do-about-it/3/
The 6 most toxic and common behaviors:
Taking everything personally
Obsessing about negative thoughts
Treating yourself like a victim
Cruelty - lacking in empathy or putting yourself in others shoes
Excessive reactivity
Needing constant validation
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