NANA
I found out that today my "nana" passed away. She was my younger brother and sister's grandmother but she was there for me too and I loved her like she was mine. I am not sure how I feel or better yet how I SHOULD feel.
-I found out through Facebook and even had a conversation with my mother just before I found out and she didn't mention anything of it. I texted my sister and got no response, So if I hadn't gotten bored and jumped on Facebook when would I have found out???
I'm sure this stemmed from an argument I had with my younger sister a few weeks ago, since then the family has been quite broken, but it's nothing new, we have always been this way. its just the spirit of the family.
-I am not sad that she passed.
I have been told this is not normal. Partly because I have shut my emotions down many years ago. I have always felt like the outcast in my family so I conditioned myself from feeling emotion to keep from getting hurt. That very well may be part of the reason my reaction is less that satisfactory to others, but I also am not sad because I found out that she was sick. All my life she has had a GREAT relationship with her creator, she was a WONDERFUL person and she was a blessing in the lives of all who knew her. I am okay with the fact that she has moved on because she is no longer in pain and she is with the GOD that she has served so righteously. I feel bad for the people she left behind but I know where she is, is better than where she was.
-Through out my life there have been very few people that I had a very strong emotional tie to and as of today most of them have passed away.
I am not sure if I have just desensitized myself or if I have truly come to accept that death is a natural, inevitable part of life, but I have come to grips with the fact that at some point everyone that I know will pass away. Hopefully more later than sooner, but in my mind death is the only guarantee in life so instead of fearing death, I feel we should enjoy life and instead of mourning the loss of loved ones we should celebrate the life they lived. Instead of thinking about the loss of their life I like to think about what I gained from having them in mine.
-FUNERAL.....No thanks!
I have never been a funeral person because I feel that is more for the loved ones than for the person passed so instead of sitting around with a bunch of people crying I would prefer to sit back and laugh at all the good times I shared with that person. I don't want my last memory to be of their lifeless body laying in a box, being lowered into the ground. I want to remember us laughing together or hanging out, having fun, LIVING. I was told that makes me selfish because my absence may be taken as though I don't care or am showing a lack of support for the rest of the family, which I can understand but shouldn't I count too?
I am not sure if these feelings are "normal" but it is how I feel and upon expressing these feelings to people close to me this is some of the feedback I have gotten, so I don't know what to do at this point.
-I found out through Facebook and even had a conversation with my mother just before I found out and she didn't mention anything of it. I texted my sister and got no response, So if I hadn't gotten bored and jumped on Facebook when would I have found out???
I'm sure this stemmed from an argument I had with my younger sister a few weeks ago, since then the family has been quite broken, but it's nothing new, we have always been this way. its just the spirit of the family.
-I am not sad that she passed.
I have been told this is not normal. Partly because I have shut my emotions down many years ago. I have always felt like the outcast in my family so I conditioned myself from feeling emotion to keep from getting hurt. That very well may be part of the reason my reaction is less that satisfactory to others, but I also am not sad because I found out that she was sick. All my life she has had a GREAT relationship with her creator, she was a WONDERFUL person and she was a blessing in the lives of all who knew her. I am okay with the fact that she has moved on because she is no longer in pain and she is with the GOD that she has served so righteously. I feel bad for the people she left behind but I know where she is, is better than where she was.
-Through out my life there have been very few people that I had a very strong emotional tie to and as of today most of them have passed away.
I am not sure if I have just desensitized myself or if I have truly come to accept that death is a natural, inevitable part of life, but I have come to grips with the fact that at some point everyone that I know will pass away. Hopefully more later than sooner, but in my mind death is the only guarantee in life so instead of fearing death, I feel we should enjoy life and instead of mourning the loss of loved ones we should celebrate the life they lived. Instead of thinking about the loss of their life I like to think about what I gained from having them in mine.
-FUNERAL.....No thanks!
I have never been a funeral person because I feel that is more for the loved ones than for the person passed so instead of sitting around with a bunch of people crying I would prefer to sit back and laugh at all the good times I shared with that person. I don't want my last memory to be of their lifeless body laying in a box, being lowered into the ground. I want to remember us laughing together or hanging out, having fun, LIVING. I was told that makes me selfish because my absence may be taken as though I don't care or am showing a lack of support for the rest of the family, which I can understand but shouldn't I count too?
I am not sure if these feelings are "normal" but it is how I feel and upon expressing these feelings to people close to me this is some of the feedback I have gotten, so I don't know what to do at this point.
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