Nada
I am now down to no hours of sleep. Last night was the first night I was up all night. I have an appt to see Dr Aug 2nd but it was suggested between now and then to go to urgent care. What can they do but give me a heavy drug to help me sleep which I am against but at this rate and all the mistakes I'm making at work, I have to do something. Driving is what scares me as Im not as alert as I should be. Hopefully Ill get some kind of reprieve. I just need a good night's sleep.
I don't lay awake and worry about things, I just lie there with my eyes closed thinking of ways to relax. The fact that my mind is not spinning and worrying is a good thing. My roommate offers no comfort. I don't think he even cares. He's more concerned with why I don't sleep with him and thats because he refuses to get a sleep apnea test and snores loud. Last night I was in the spare bedroom with door shut and even my white noise machine couldn't drown him out.
Things at work are weird although I'm trying not to get too involved with whats going on. I don't feel the need to be attached there.
We'll see how the dr's visit goes after work. Hopefully Ill be able to sleep.
Replies
Gentle empathy and steadying support, Sage. Sleep deprivation is a savage demon with armies of lesser demons in loyal service. Ouchus maximus.
I don't have easy answers for either of us, but I console myself through the sleep deprivation episodes with the tarnished silver lining that at least it keeps me to tired to keep attempting the solutions which didn't work the first kajillion times I tried them. I still prefer a good night's sleep, but I takes my consolations where I can find them.
Sigh. . .
Usually when those kind of things happen, there is something going on inside, that is in need of healing.
God Bless
Bobinmaine,
I have had to do a lot of healing and losing close toxic friends hurt me. They were still people in my life. All this started at the beginning of July after I had a huge blow up with a friend. I basically told this friend I could not take the relationship to the next level and this burned him. We had talked for almost a year. I made a decision to let him go, but the pain I felt was bad. As sincere as I was, he got defensive and started putting me down and I wandered and questioned myself whether I really ever knew this person. He had given me a bracelet. I saged it and salted it and buried it in the yard. It was like having a funeral.
I can relate. It takes time but the worse thing we can do is to hold on to any guilt over it. Accept it for what it is and let it go.
God Bless.