My Wants, My Blog entry today, roots of me

These are my soul groanings and where my depression gets me, yes, I know it seems all happiness I portray based on another, not completely, I have been weary for so long, honestly to be held in truly loving arms would feel like a miracle. Much Love
I started thinking today about what I want from life, and if there was to be love in a relationship, and I have the following so far, please bear with me, I am not desperate, completely consider myself passionate and a romantic, and want to pour my soul out to the one I love and have it return to me, and feel that kind of peace, in one who loves me, and that I can give them the same peace.
I want to love and be loved, to know it, and feel it unmistakably, and know I will always be with this person, and them me, for this lifetime, for a fairy tale so to speakI want long walks on the beach, holding hands, and not a stress or care as the sun sets, to have a blanket and fire and look at the stars over the oceanI want to enjoy fishing, and them to want to, to kayak, to go boating, snorkeling, to have evenings to sit on the pier, rapped in a blanket with a starbucks and watch the sun rise and sun setI want one that would be calm, and I would also, and we would calm each other sharing and spending these moments and looking for more and more adventures in life to experience togetherI want one that would look and stare into my eyes, and get lost in me like I would themI want one that not only counts the time we are away like I would, but is as excited as me to see the other even a midst every day life chaos, and all the distractions around usI want to grow old with them, and find that attraction in just the touch of them even when old, that their touch would be enough for me to sleep soundly smiling every nightI want them to want me this way, to cling to the love I have to pour out and that it would meet their love for me, and would always make a beautiful fountain of passion and caring, that we would fill each other completely every day new, making life beautiful every step, every breath, every moment before leaving this world, us being a completion of myself and of them as created beings to love another, these things are not foreign, they are rare though.
I wants can also be construed as selfish thoughts somewhat, not this way, I want that person, that says these same things, and that I would see and focus completely on them, and them me, and the blinders have no chance of coming off, I have that capable of commitment, I have that desire to never let a day pass letting them know how much I treasure and love them, I have that god given need, to cherish and nurture and grow a beautiful bond and union, that nothing in this world I want more than to leave work everyday and see them, this is my thoughts of I wants, this is my thoughts of what love should feel like.



I feel like I could have written this about myself and what I want. What I long for. I\'m truly sorry you haven\'t found this yet but you will. I promise you that. Just have patience. Much love and many hugs to you.