My Update

I had a good weekend with my sister, who came to stay.  We talked and talked, and have never done that together that much in our lives.
The depression is lifting and I am feeling like the Debbie I use to know again.   The book, "Jesus Calling", was my turnaround point.  The words of God continue to keep me on the right track. 
One of the drawbacks of losing your spouse is to feel needed and wanted again.  Everyone has those needs.  It is what nurtures us a people and as human beings.  I have realized that being needed and wanted IS in my life.  I have so often worried that God was going to put a new man in my life, and in all honesty, I'm not ready for that.  I may never be ready for that, but that decision is between me and God.  No one else.  Once widowed, there is so much emphasis put on finding new love again.  Can we just be permitted to process the loss of that wonderful, precious, human being we lost, and not need to feel the pressure of "finding new love"?  It isn't the answer.  The answer is discovering who we are again, discovering what we are capable of doing for ourselves again, and digging into our soul to find our own needs and wants. 
Just venting, again, but it feels good to get these things out.