My trip to the pdoc
Thank you to everyone for all your support, hugs and messages, I'll try and get round to answering everyone but it may take me a wee bit of time. I got to my appointment early and had to stay in the waiting room, well I just couldn't sit still, I met my new pdoc and my first thought was he was a bit young, yet strangely attractive. He sat down and started from the beginning. He didn't want to read through old notes, he wanted to see me for me. We sat and chatted, I told him my history and he said he could see I was manic. He asked how long I'd been like that and if I felt anything had relieved it. We talked about my wish for omnipotence and my wanting to fly, he told me he thought if I'd left it maybe 2/3 days later I'd have been sectioned under the mental health act, which basically means you're taken into hosptial and you don't come out for 4 weeks. He said he'd like to take me into hospital, I said I felt better at home. We discussed my reasons behind it and after a long chat we decided that since I know a lot about my own condition, am a psych student and don't want to leave my son, I can come home for now. He made me promise if I feel at risk at any point or I feel like i'm no longer in control that I will go into hospital. We also talked a lot about my symptoms, he doesn't want to classify me bp I or II just yet, he wants to get to know me better first, but he did diagnose with Borderline Personality Disorder. I've known for a while it was coming. I'm the poster child, he told me this, i think at this point he forgot I've spent months studying personality disorders and pretty much knew I fit in the catergory. As we'd already discussed he's taking me off lithium and we're going to try abilify. I suppose we'll just have to see how things go. I have to go and see him again in 2 weeks, our agreement is simply that if the new meds aren't working I'll be admitted for a short time until it's right.