My Trevor

Trevor was born on April 4th 1973, although I was an unwed mother, I would never have thought to give him up. Times were hard, I had NO help from my family, but I worked and we managed. 2 years later I met a wonderful man that Married me and adopted Trevor as his own. Our family grew adding 2 sisters for Trevor. During the next 15 years we led a wonderful and happy life. When Trevor was 17, he met a girl and his life began to grow into adulthood, his girlfriend became pregnant, and they decided to live with her parents. His girlfriend had been through a
drug rehab center prior to meeting Trevor, after Alexandra was born, they married, Trevor got a job as a car salesman and did very well. After about 7 years into the marriage, Trevor began having problems with his back, he went to a pain clinic, and they got him on Methadone. Meanwhile his wife was on a myriad of drugs for migraines. Trevor ended up going through several jobs before he just no longer could work. 3 years later Trevor's wife left him and his daughter, they came to live with me. Things were going well for about 2 years and then Trevor wanted to move out on his own, by now he was 100% disabled on SS, but would never have been able to live on his own with limited funds. He thought he could and during this time, he became involved with very lowlife people, his daughters maternal grandmother had her come and move with her, Trevor was begining to spiral down. Now, I must tell you, Trevor loved his daughter, they were inseprable they hiked, they did projects together, he made sure she went to school every day, and studied hard. This by itself, had to have killed him. He called me to talk about a year later and he was with a new woman, I hoped things were ok, but within the next 2 years I never heard from him. November 17, 2012, it was a warm day and I was making a birthday cake for my love of my life Michael, it was about 11:30AM, the police came to the door. They told me my son had died of an apparent drug overdose. It is amazing how words and not even a visual can change your life and bring you such sorrow and pain. My two daughters, came to my side, Trevor's daughter and x-wife came also, we sat stunned and wondering what to do. We began to realize that Trevor had isolated himself from all of us and all of any friends he had in the past. We went to his home where he died, and talked to his girlfriend, apparently she was on xanax and Trevor mixed the deadly combo of meth and xanax, she actually left him that morning to go get cigarettes and came back to find him non-responsive. We gathered what little Trevor had left in his life, we also found out even his beloved dog had died just a few months back. With all of Trevor's loss I don't think he cared anymore. We had Trevor cremated and some of his ashes were sent on little paper boats with candles on a river he would walk with Alex and his dog, it was a very private ceremony, as we were all Trevor had left. The next couple of weeks and months I spent reflecting on that wonderful baby I brought into this world, and all the things I taught him, and how much I love him. Alex is in 2nd year of College now, she is studying history and wants to be a museum curator. I must say I haven't seen any sorrow from Alex, it may be just that she is young and holds back, but it amazes me, I hope she holds all the GOOD memories in her heart, as they surely out weigh the bad... Thank you all for hearing me...