My Topic on discussion board and my journal entry..sorry yall!!

I have dusted myself off and returned to normal?! Can't say whether or not it is a good thing though! ; ) Went to one of my support groups where I posted a topic. I got some replies. One made me not only stop to think, I actually had to get up and walk away from the puter. Not only did I walk away, I went all the way back to previous journals to see if I had started to change, when the change occured, is it for the better? I remember that person that posted her first journal entry. I had just been diagnosed with PTSD and did a search on it. That is how I found DS and all of yall. Anyway, my topic. Of course I can't kick my own butt hard enough, I have to actually go ONLINE, to a DISCUSSION GROUP, and BLATHER!! But I have to admit, I have grown so much from that person who first signed on. As for the questions that made me stop and think...was I upset becuz I was mad at myself for believing him again? Easy answer. Yes. Second question, was I mad at myself becuz I still had feelings for him and the relationship? Had to ponder on hat one awhile before I had to answer yes to both. Then this person, I will forever be in their debt for making me stop and think instead of run and worry and dwell on it, and I didn't now what the it was until I read, Are you mad at yourself becuz you are obssessing over dysfunctional relationship that didn't work out, or something to that effect. I have been to counseling in 3 different states. I have read just about any and everything on the internet about emotional and all the inside ALS..(mental, verbal, etc...) and then the physical abuse. I have to announce this because when I go to counseling, my counselors have informed me that I don't open up about what I went thru deminishing what happened to me becuz you can't see the bruises, cuts, broken bones, black eyes, and I posted a topic that, for all rhymes and reasons, shouldn't have made sense, someone else not only realized it, by accident or fortune?, only God knows for sure, but they could actually put it into words. Simple words. Easy words. I could actually feel the pressure inside and out, release. Maybe I was blathering not only becuz of all of the above but becuz I couldn't put it into words. And how do I put the rest of how I feel into words. Something that I can see. Something that DOES make sense? This person also reccommended a book. Will get it this week and read it. I see how I have grown. I am speaking now. Out loud..God what an understatement! I just need more words. No, not words. I need to stop STOP and THIMK, made you look twice at that m in think...made you stop though, see what I mean? YOu stopped and thought if only for a second you stopped. How can we, as people, victims, put this into words and GET IT OUT THERE to save the ones being abused? to law enforcements to show them that not all abuse is physical, and so the victims won't be treated like they treated me or worse? How do WE AS A PEOPLE get the words together to help and educate sooo many?