My Thoughts of The Day

It's November... "Remember, remember the 5th of November."  In my mind I say "Remember, remember the 15th of November" because the 15th is the day my world came crashing down in 2006.  Lately has been hard for me because I'm lacking a truly close friendship where I feel free to talk about anything.  I used to have that with my best friend Cheryl.  With just one look she knew exactly what I was thinking and would respond by giving me a much needed hug or words of encouragement.  I no longer have that kind of friendship so I feel so incredibly alone.  I can't even describe the loneliness I feel during the month of November, and this year, without any close friends for support, I feel even more alone. I've been bothering my room mate lately because I feel the most alone at night.  Right as we're falling asleep I try my hardest to have her keep talking to me... but she's getting really fed up with it. I really just wish I had someone in those moments to hold me tight and tell me things are ok.  Or just someone to talk to me until I fall asleep.  But I don't have that anymore and I can't talk about that with my friends.  My roommate thinks completely logically and rationally, she has no emotion... Trying to make her understand how I hurt is like trying to get a wall to respond to you.   I just need closeness..