My Thoughts

Another Christmas has come and gone, dear husband, and here I remain.  Due to your absence, I am now the matriarch of the lovely children the Lord gave us; the one left to brace our family from the brutal hits life can throw at you.  We were supposed to do this together, remember?  What wonderful and responsible adults they have become.  I'm sure you're pleased and enormously proud.   Did you know that our daughter lost her job last year due to the horrendous economy America is experiencing?  Through her tears, and some of mine, we discussed her options for many hours on the phone.  She didn't want to tell me at first because I was retiring; she didn't want to spoil the celebratory mood.  Oh, C...., how very much she is like you, always thinking of others first.  She was so concerned about providing for her family since she is now the sole provider.  Well, I bet you already knew before it happened, but she was offered another job within two weeks of her company shutdown.  What a blessing, and what a very important lesson in faith to her dear children as they watched her process the circumstances.    Your namesake and first grandson signed up for the Army two weeks ago.  I'm praying for protection for our cherished grandson as he serves his country.  If you're able, will you watch over him?  He will come out of this experience a new person, seeing life through a man's eyes rather than the eyes of a boy.    Life is whirling around me and I continually find myself asking for wisdom while in this unlikely position.  I always sought your counsel and listened carefully to your words, both the spoken and unspoken.  You had such good insight, and I miss that terribly.  How did you always step up to the plate and let all of us rest in your shadow?  Thank you, C...., for that.  You never demanded anything from us, but we looked to you as our sensible and ideal leader.  It never dawned on me that your strong shoulders would not be there to lean on when my world got the least bit shaky.    This entry is just to say that I'm doing well, but sure do miss you.  The character and integrity with which you lived your life has served your family well.  Thank you for that my beloved.  Save a seat at the table for me.  Love to you, my friend and husband.  

Replies

Catkin
Catkin

I found this journal very moving. As I work here I am sure I will be able to draw out the words that have been locked within.
deleted_user
deleted_user

That was beautiful. It is hard not to have those shoulders to lean on but I have confidence that I will manage because I do have the Lord to lean on. We are never totally alone.
ricebells
ricebells

l think that is lovely.
Alice xx
Lininsocal
Lininsocal

A beautiful tribute to the loving foundation your husband provided for your family to grow on. You are blessed. This was inspiring and touching. Thank you for sharing these pride filled and tender thoughts.
driveler
driveler

I obviously have a lot more tears that need to be cried, because they are pouring out of my eyes. You sent me a message of welcome so I wanted to \"get to know you a bit\" before I replied! This was so very beautiful! thank you for sharing it.