My sunshine
People will always hear me mention that I have a special angel that shines on me when I need him. Most do not understand this even when I explain, but they also have not lost a child.
It began the day of Jerreds wake. It was raining quite heavily that day when we walked into the funeral home to be the first to see my baby and start the goodbye process. As my husband, my sons and I walked down the aisle towards Jerred I noticed that the sun started to shine and the closer we got to Jerr the brighter it got until we were at the casket and Jerred was bathed in bright, beautiful sunlight. It was only on him and the most beautiful miracle I have ever seen. It stayed on him the entire time we were there and as we turned and started to walk away the sunbeam slowly disappeared and was gone the moment we got to the back of the room.
One day I was having a very hard time accepting Jerred's death and him no longer with me. Now I knew and do know that God only loans us our children and it is His time frame that we have them with us. I am selfish and wanted him with longer then 6 years and 29 days. Anyways as I was crying for some reason I remembered that sun shining on Jerred only that day at the funeral home, so I asked Jerred to please shine on me. It was another gloomy day but I watched and kept asking and saying Jerred mommy needs you right now. within just a few minutes the sun popped out and I stared in awe. It only stayed for a few short seconds, not even a minute but I saw it and felt his presence with me and was calm.
This has happened everytime I have asked and no matter what the weather he does always shine for me. Other people have seen this, so I know it is not in my head. I was in a hotel room one morning and the drapes were closed. You all know how dark the room is when they are closed no matter if the sun is out. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I turned the corner I saw Jered standing there. I was freaked and turned screaming and crying and hid under the blankets just crying thinking what a cruel joke my mind was playing on me. My boyfriend at the time was trying to understand what had just happened and to calm me down. All of a sudden he went "Oh my Lord this is amazing!!!" And he said Susie you have to see this, come on honey come out and look you will be so happy when you see this. Finally when i peaked out I was shocked. Jerred had filled our room with bright sunlight, and I do mean filled and bright with the drapes fully closed. The warmth was intense and I felt Jerred in my arms holding and squeezing me tight, I also heard him say I am with you always mom just ask and I will shine.
I am sure some would and do say I am cracked in the head but I KNOW I and not and I have a witness to it also. To anyone who has lost a child especially please look around you and listen hard as they are with you and will calm you when you need it. some I have talked to have seen and talked to their child, others have had full conversations with their child and heard their child speaking. I have my sunshine, what do you have?
It began the day of Jerreds wake. It was raining quite heavily that day when we walked into the funeral home to be the first to see my baby and start the goodbye process. As my husband, my sons and I walked down the aisle towards Jerred I noticed that the sun started to shine and the closer we got to Jerr the brighter it got until we were at the casket and Jerred was bathed in bright, beautiful sunlight. It was only on him and the most beautiful miracle I have ever seen. It stayed on him the entire time we were there and as we turned and started to walk away the sunbeam slowly disappeared and was gone the moment we got to the back of the room.
One day I was having a very hard time accepting Jerred's death and him no longer with me. Now I knew and do know that God only loans us our children and it is His time frame that we have them with us. I am selfish and wanted him with longer then 6 years and 29 days. Anyways as I was crying for some reason I remembered that sun shining on Jerred only that day at the funeral home, so I asked Jerred to please shine on me. It was another gloomy day but I watched and kept asking and saying Jerred mommy needs you right now. within just a few minutes the sun popped out and I stared in awe. It only stayed for a few short seconds, not even a minute but I saw it and felt his presence with me and was calm.
This has happened everytime I have asked and no matter what the weather he does always shine for me. Other people have seen this, so I know it is not in my head. I was in a hotel room one morning and the drapes were closed. You all know how dark the room is when they are closed no matter if the sun is out. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I turned the corner I saw Jered standing there. I was freaked and turned screaming and crying and hid under the blankets just crying thinking what a cruel joke my mind was playing on me. My boyfriend at the time was trying to understand what had just happened and to calm me down. All of a sudden he went "Oh my Lord this is amazing!!!" And he said Susie you have to see this, come on honey come out and look you will be so happy when you see this. Finally when i peaked out I was shocked. Jerred had filled our room with bright sunlight, and I do mean filled and bright with the drapes fully closed. The warmth was intense and I felt Jerred in my arms holding and squeezing me tight, I also heard him say I am with you always mom just ask and I will shine.
I am sure some would and do say I am cracked in the head but I KNOW I and not and I have a witness to it also. To anyone who has lost a child especially please look around you and listen hard as they are with you and will calm you when you need it. some I have talked to have seen and talked to their child, others have had full conversations with their child and heard their child speaking. I have my sunshine, what do you have?
Replies
What a beautiful way your son says hello. I have not heard about a sunshine wink before and just love it. What our loved ones can do is truly amazing and I\'m so grateful that we can come to share it here.
Douglas says hello with numbers, 11:11, 7:11, I see ALL the time and he also moves things and most particularly as of late a large turkey feather that we have on a dresser that is more like an altar with pictures of him and keepsakes. We keep it up against a favorite picture of his and just last night it was found draped over a tray of coral and sea shells. No windows opened, last we looked it was where we had set it. It happens often and I\'m so glad that we figured it out and did not miss it or worse \"explain\" it away. Feathers have appeared in places not believed and I always thank him and feel that he often knows before I do when I need a checking in on or lift.
Our children also pop in to say hello to their aunties too. Kala, Teri\'s daughter brings rainbows, Michael, Belinda\'s son has been saying hello with pennies and the one that I found on Sunday had the date of 1975 on it and that was the year he was born. The list is long and I know others will share as to how their beloveds check in.
So happy you have your sunshine and all that matters is that YOU know. That is how I have come to lean into all the possibilities.
Heartfelt hugs of care dear Susie,
XO Joanie
What a beautiful story! There have been a couple times when the sun brightened the room as I understood a message from our son. We have had bees, pennies and birds drop in and let us know that our Josh is still looking out for us. I was prepped for our son by an old boss who also told me our children are only loaned to us. I had never looked at it that way and welcomed her view. Thank you for sharing the beautiful story with us.
Hugs,
Leda
I am glad that your life is progressing with a new love, and positive thoughts. Glad to be your new friend, Abby
My son sends me signs through significant numbers. I embrace the signs. They are there and it is real. Love to you and dearest Jerred, Linda