My Stupid Dentist
I am in pain. I had a stupid tooth pulled on Monday. The root tips must have been attached to my brain because he like to have never got the last one out. He drilled and cut and drilled and drilled some more. He drilled into the roof of my frickin' mouth. It is swollen and raw and it hurts!! Fucker would not call me in anything else for pain either. If he even got the message I left.
Other than that, I am good. Have a few pain pills to last a couple of days. Jim goes to the dentist on Thursday to get a tooth pulled so I will have pain pills for a few days then too. Only about a week and a half until my appointment in Atlanta to get my own pain meds. That will be nice.
JJ said some things that upset me a few days ago. He said that maybe I just take pills because I can't deal with life and to numb myself. Part of that is true I guess. Numb is better than freaked out any day of the week. I function better. I don't know. He is being super critical right now because he is off the pot for the first time in years and is just now really assessing his past. I have not been the perfect mother, but I have always loved my kids and tried to give them what they want and need. SIGH.
Other than that, I am good. Have a few pain pills to last a couple of days. Jim goes to the dentist on Thursday to get a tooth pulled so I will have pain pills for a few days then too. Only about a week and a half until my appointment in Atlanta to get my own pain meds. That will be nice.
JJ said some things that upset me a few days ago. He said that maybe I just take pills because I can't deal with life and to numb myself. Part of that is true I guess. Numb is better than freaked out any day of the week. I function better. I don't know. He is being super critical right now because he is off the pot for the first time in years and is just now really assessing his past. I have not been the perfect mother, but I have always loved my kids and tried to give them what they want and need. SIGH.
Replies
I used to take pain pills to numb myself. That\'s why I rarely take any now. Only you can know if that\'s true. I\'m sure you have loved your kids and done the very best for them. Sorry about your tooth and mouth. Hope you feel better soon on all fronts.
I hope you feel better soon too. Only you can judge whether or not you take pain pills to numb yourself. Deep down you know if it\'s true or not. I do not judge for I am not judge, jury and executioner. ((((HUGS))))
I know I don\'t take the pain pills to numb me. I take them because I hurt. I think he was talking about the bipolar meds. Like there was no such thing as bipolar and I was just taking the meds because I was weak and couldn\'t handle life. Humph!!
i think jj should try this thought on for size before he throws out any more nonsense: if a certain behaviour jumps out at you, annoys you, frustrates you in another person there\'s a good chance it\'s a behaviour you don\'t want to see in yourself but deep down (past your denial) you know it\'s there. it\'s a whole lot easier to say that you\'re hiding behind your meds, than it is for him to say he\'s been hiding from his own life in a drug haze. it\'s a lot easier for him to say that you\'ve an affliction that \"doesn\'t exist\" than it is for him to acknowledge that you\'ve the strength to keep going and being active in life (with the help of meds) and he didn\'t have that strength and took the \"easy\" way out.
no one\'s the perfect parent, there\'s such a thing though as a good enough parent - the parent who does what they can by you and you realise (at some point) that all they gave and did was good enough to make you a decent person. don\'t beat yourself up because he hasn\'t gotten to realisation part yet.
and don\'t doubt your own strength and capacity because he\'s experienced some bumps in the road. his misdirection is not your failing. his attempts at transferring his feelings of frustration onto you, as guilt and doubt, aren\'t your burden to bear. he needs to work on himself, and you need only to keep on what you\'re doing. you meet each day, take your meds, and get on with it, even if it\'s not perfect because you\'ve the heart and determination to do so even when you\'re hurting.
that\'s a depth of character most can only wish for. (((hugs)))
I think you are a wonderful caring person and sometimes we all need an escape-even if it\'s pharmaceutically induced. I just want to let you know that of all the people on this board who I consider to be my friend, you are the one who I would like to meet in real life and I think we would be good friends.
Sorry you are in pain sweetie...both physical and emotional from your son.. a lot of people have huge problems with chronic anything.. until one experiences something they just cant comprehend it..I hope you get the meds you need... that dental work sounds wicked..as the saying goes.. youth is wasted on the young... love and a blessing for you..xx