My struggle with smoking habit
Yeah! I'm stretching really hard but I'm trying to pat myself on the back right now because I am 6 weeks clean. I had never gone back to being a heavy smoker as I was in my younger days but it was a case of "have 1 here and there when in the company of any member of my family" (they're every single one of them smokers) and then it would start to be have one when feeling down from isolation and loneliness, then move to 2 or 3 a day and it definitely was adding to my problems so I needed to break away completely again. My chosen method, and I'm certainly not advising this in any way, was to get back on the Chantix drug. It works for me but I'm well aware that many people cannot take that drug and it also doesn't work for everyone.
So this is my congratulations to me - I don't want to pull my shoulder out of joint here cause I've been here before and had backslides but I'm gonna try to make it stick this time. And for anyone out there who does not understand how you could be so dumb as to smoke when you have this disease - please let me say, in the nicest way possible - that you've likely never been a hard core smoker. For me, when I've already got a disease that will end up killing me, it's pretty hard to justify giving up yet one more thing I enjoy just to get a few more months or even years of dragging this hose along behind me.
Oh listen to me - now I'm talking myself into depression and I'm having a good day today - sun came out for first time in like forever - breathing is so much easier I want to take the hose off and I did but my O2 levels dropped so I had to put it back on - drat, drat, drat! I'm going to go to the store and get something good to cook for dinner.
I LEFT THIS JOURNAL ENTRY HERE BECAUSE ONCE MORE I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF THAT I'VE HAD TO QUIT AGAIN AND AM AT THE 6 WEEK MARK. I think I might be a Chantix addict. LOL.
If anyone every reads these things would you reach through my screen and slap me now and then!!!! I do not every want to have to say I quit again. It's getting ridiculous.
3-12-2014 - yeap - for sure I am a Chantix addict. Every time I run out and can't afford it - it's really expensive - here I go again. I can't help it - they just taste soooooo good even though they clog my sinuses, burn my throat and make my lungs fill up with mucus. I'm 70 years old - for heavens sake - something is going to kill me and I'm tired of this hose anyway.
So this is my congratulations to me - I don't want to pull my shoulder out of joint here cause I've been here before and had backslides but I'm gonna try to make it stick this time. And for anyone out there who does not understand how you could be so dumb as to smoke when you have this disease - please let me say, in the nicest way possible - that you've likely never been a hard core smoker. For me, when I've already got a disease that will end up killing me, it's pretty hard to justify giving up yet one more thing I enjoy just to get a few more months or even years of dragging this hose along behind me.
Oh listen to me - now I'm talking myself into depression and I'm having a good day today - sun came out for first time in like forever - breathing is so much easier I want to take the hose off and I did but my O2 levels dropped so I had to put it back on - drat, drat, drat! I'm going to go to the store and get something good to cook for dinner.
I LEFT THIS JOURNAL ENTRY HERE BECAUSE ONCE MORE I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF THAT I'VE HAD TO QUIT AGAIN AND AM AT THE 6 WEEK MARK. I think I might be a Chantix addict. LOL.
If anyone every reads these things would you reach through my screen and slap me now and then!!!! I do not every want to have to say I quit again. It's getting ridiculous.
3-12-2014 - yeap - for sure I am a Chantix addict. Every time I run out and can't afford it - it's really expensive - here I go again. I can't help it - they just taste soooooo good even though they clog my sinuses, burn my throat and make my lungs fill up with mucus. I'm 70 years old - for heavens sake - something is going to kill me and I'm tired of this hose anyway.
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