My Story, Part One
I've recently come to the realization that I've been living a self destructive life since I was at least 16. I don't really know why, but I do have a couple of ideas. I'll leave it for my future therapist to help me figure out.
So at the young age of 16, a month from 17, I became pregnant with my first son. He was born 3 months before my 18th birthday. My wonderful mom tried to get me to consider my other options, but I was determined to raise him myself. I thought I knew what love was, and thought I was in love with his 24 year old father. It turns out, it didn't work out and I was a single mom. While finishing high school I began exchanging emails with an old boyfriend. A week after graduation I took my son to Florida for a week to visit said boyfriend. The connection we had before was still there, and a month and a half later we went from living with my mom in Colorado to living with him in Florida. Such big decisions for such a young age.
I missed my mom terribly! She was (and still is) my best friend. I got a job working as an office assistant, and later at a daycare center. But the problems grew. My boyfriend introduced me to marijuana, and then ecstasy, and a few other pills I can't remember. We drank on occasion. Overall, it was a party atmosphere. I got pregnant again, but miscarried at 10 weeks. That was very difficult for me, because I knew my drug use had likely caused it. I was depressed. I tried getting help, but the place I went to just wanted to put me on meds, and being 19/20, I didn't like the thought of having to be on meds forever to be happy so I quit taking them, and quit going for check ups. Life continued on...
So at the young age of 16, a month from 17, I became pregnant with my first son. He was born 3 months before my 18th birthday. My wonderful mom tried to get me to consider my other options, but I was determined to raise him myself. I thought I knew what love was, and thought I was in love with his 24 year old father. It turns out, it didn't work out and I was a single mom. While finishing high school I began exchanging emails with an old boyfriend. A week after graduation I took my son to Florida for a week to visit said boyfriend. The connection we had before was still there, and a month and a half later we went from living with my mom in Colorado to living with him in Florida. Such big decisions for such a young age.
I missed my mom terribly! She was (and still is) my best friend. I got a job working as an office assistant, and later at a daycare center. But the problems grew. My boyfriend introduced me to marijuana, and then ecstasy, and a few other pills I can't remember. We drank on occasion. Overall, it was a party atmosphere. I got pregnant again, but miscarried at 10 weeks. That was very difficult for me, because I knew my drug use had likely caused it. I was depressed. I tried getting help, but the place I went to just wanted to put me on meds, and being 19/20, I didn't like the thought of having to be on meds forever to be happy so I quit taking them, and quit going for check ups. Life continued on...
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