my state of grief

It is now into April. I have turned 41 and the first anniversary of my partner's death will be approaching on May 7th. I still feel horrible and have had lots of therapy. Does this grief ever let up and when will I ever feel good again? In addition, I have my third appointment to see my medium on May 9th, which is just after the first anniversary. It will be very interesting to hear what my partner and my mother have to say about my life right now and their concerns for me. It is very sad to look through past photos of my partner and I in regards to that they had an abrupt stop. I certainly took lots of photos of us, and I am able to look at them without crying at times, but our wonderful relationship ended much too soon.  In my studies of spiritual life after his passing, I have concluded that God cannot control our free will and the events here, but he does love us here and in the afterlife.  In the physical life, we are governed by natural laws, that does not distinguish between good or bad people. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and there is no fairness. Our physical life here is often full of pain, but our reward for those who have loved others is paradise in the afterlife. Does anyone agree with htis outlook?