my story

I started bleeding thursday i thought it was just some spotting but went to the gp anyway, she told me to go home n rest it was prob nothing. I returned home n started bleeding more, i have had 2 miscarriages a few years back so i knew this was a bad sign, so i went to the emergency room where the bleeding continued to get heavier and i started passing clots. At this stage i was devostated and had no hope that is until i went 4 an ultrasound and saw my baby still there with its tiny heart beating 140 bpm i felt so relieved i cant even explain the feeling. I was kept in overnight because i was still bleeding heavily and the drs didnt know where it was coming from. I was told i had a threatned miscarriage by the obgyn and she cldnt see why i wldnt go on to have a healthy baby. I was discharged n told to go 2 my  gp the next day 4 a blood test to test my hcg levels. I left that hospital with so much hope. I went home to rest n the bleeding almost had stopped i was so positive my baby was still alive. I had the blood test on the saturday morning n sat around nervously all day. My gp called me at 5pm to tell me my hcg levels had dropped dramatically so unfortunately my baby is gone.Ive never been so devostated in my whole life i cant even leave my bed at the moment, I cant c prgnant people or babies on tv without crying, looking at my own 8 year old son makes me upset n im so angry at the drs 4 giving me false hope. Im still bleeding and everytime i get a blood clot i wonder if its my baby. How am i ever supposed to live a normal life again?

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so sad to hear your story. I am sorry you were given false hope. I had to live with being \"cautiously optomistic\' over a 3 week time span - dr was still hopeful, but also went on each week to dicuss a possible D&C if things didn\'t improve - thats the worst thing I\'ve ever had to hear.

Grief is a long bumpy journey, and you will eventually be able to feel better.. it just takes a lot of time and talking about it. Let it out and cry and find ways to have some closure. keep any U/S\'s, things you bought for the baby, write him or her a poem and perhaps name your baby, and plant something in his/her memory.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so sorry for your loss, and the way that it happened. Give yourself time to heal and grieve. Try to make sure you have doctors you trust.

Having a place to cry and vent to people who can relate can be a great outlet. In the real world, people don\'t understand the magnitude of miscarriage.

Do something special for you and your baby. You will have good and bad days, but it will get easier.

Hug your son. I am here if you need to talk. Have been through several mc.