My story

Hello everyone! I am new to this site and I am looking forward to learning from everyone. My purpose for registering with this support group is to gain knowledge regarding Cirrhosis of the liver. My fiance of 3 years has lived with the diagnosis of Cirrhosis since 2003. He is 36 years old and has been a heavy drinker for over 10 years. He was diagnosed in 2003 when he had to be hospitalized for a massive esophageal bleed. He almost did not survive that episode from what I hear. I have known my fiance since highschool however we had lost touch for 14 years. I was married and when I divorced my husband I began dating him in 2006. I was unaware of his condition until I started to hear stories about that 2003 episode that I put two and two together.  In 2008 he suffered a mallory weiss tear and that is when the doctor told me that he had several varices in his esophagus and his stomach and that he had less than a year to live. I was extremely scared and did not know what to do at the time. I did not realize that his condition was so severe. My fiance was never sick. He looked healthy, he acted healthy, he never complained. Of course I did not know that he had been secretely drinking all this time.  Since we have been together he has had a series of legal set backs. He has 4 DWI's and has been under the microscope of probation. He had to attend AA and alcohol counseling and even served 6 months in SAF-P, a miminum supervised correctional institution for drug and alcohol offenders. When he finished that program he continued to drink and he caught his last DWI #4, that has landed him in jail for 5 years.  The problem I have is that he still continues to think that he can drink occassionaly. He has a quick answer to everything I throw at home. I cant seem to convince him that he has cirrhosis because since his hospitalization every doctor he has seen has told him that his liver is fine. The doctors tell him that he hasn't been drinking long enough to cause that much damage and since he has never had hepatitis there is no reason to believe that he has cirrhosis. All his labs are nornal and his liver feels normal upon palpation. Other than that variceal bleed in 2004 he does not have symptoms. So he is convinced that he is fine and that he can still drink moderately.  I know better than that and know that the labs can be very misleading when it comes to liver disease. I also know that his liver may be so shrunken that maybe thats the reason they dont feel enlargement. In addition I realize that when he has abstained from alcohol his liver has time to restabilize which may be the reason why his labs are normal.  This is all so overwhelming for me. I love this man and I want to be with him but I dont know how to help him. There are days that I say "live and let live" whatever our destiny is will be. And there are days that I want so desperately to control the situation. I know that I cannot change him and I know that I have a choice on whether to stick around. The truth is that it is all easier said than done. After all this is the man that I love and he is a human being. I cannot let go of a person when I know he needs me the most. He may not think he needs help but I know he does and I do not have the heart to give up on him. I have to believe that he will one day see the light.  For now, he is incarcerated which is good. The only thing I want to know is how come I have never seen this man experience withdrawals. When he was incarcerated he never showed any symptoms. As for his liver disease , theres no sign of it either. As a matter of fact he looks great!