My Story

  I married my high school sweetheart that I had saved myself for.  I was 19 she was 15.  She was pregnant but, not by me.  she had been sleeping with my "friends" and she got pregnant by a family member she'd been having an affair with for a year.  He was married with 5 kids. I was raised in a strict Christian home and was always taught to treat women with respect.  My dad was a minister. After the baby was born, 3 months after we were married, her feelings and actions changed towards me.  I worked long hours trying to provide a good home for her.  This family member would come "visit" while I  was working evening shift but, would leave about 10pm before I got home at 11:30 pm. I would find notes taped to my motorcycle seat, in my truck, etc. of someone telling me I should be checking on her  affairs, etc., while I was gone, working away from home.   It finally got so bad, I started drinking, taking drugs, and hanging with a Biker gang.  I found out she was having affairs with truckers, police, auctioneers, married men. etc.  I was working in Ohio and came home to find a friend of mine had separated from his wife.  I went to see him and ask him if there was anything I could do to help he and his wife reconcile. I had known him and his wife for many years.  I considered him a good friend.  He told me no, to just let it go so, I did as he requested.  2 weeks later I found out why.  He was caught, by his wife, with another woman.  Guess who the other woman was!!!!!  My wife. In the 8-1/2 years we were together, she tried to stab me on 3 occasions.  She achieved it once.  She had her ex-lover family member, try to kill me but, when I challenged him, he was all mouth.  She knocked me down with a car, backed up to see where I was so she could run over me.  I crawled behind a tree in my neighbor's yard so she couldn't get to me.  She attacked me at work, in public, punch me in the face while I would be driving, etc.  She got a gun, loaded it, aimed it at me and pulled the trigger,  It didn't fire because she didn't know how to release the safety or, I would have been dead.  She told me she didn't love me, never had, and that she prayed for my death every time I got on my Harley.  Her physical abuse, mental abuse, etc. took it's toll on me.  I became an alcoholic, drinking a case of beer a day, and a 1/2 fifth of gin a day.  Our house caught fire, we lost everything, my left hand was crushed in an oil field accident 3 weeks from the day our house burnt.  I was off work for 7 months and had steel pins in my hand for 5-1/2 months.  Her girlfriend lost a cigarette in my car and set it on fire 3 months later.  It was a total loss too. During these times is when I got involved with the motorcycle gangs., the alcohol and the drugs. They were the only"family" and people I trusted at this time in my life. I was called St. Elmo's Hells Angel because of the long hair, beard and the lifestyle I was living. Fights, Police issues, hatred, hostility, and retaliation became my way of life.  Finally, I had enough, I found someone who loved me and I left.  She fought me in court for 1-1/2 years wanting alimony, child support, etc.  I made her an offer when I left, which she refused but, I paid her child support every month till the divorce was finalized.  After the divorce was finalized, she got less child support than I had offered her almost 2 years prior.  Basically all I got out of the divorce was 2 trash bags of clothes, my guns, 1 car and my Harley.  She got the house, the other car, my truck and, all the rest of my clothes, which she gave to her lovers, boyfriends, or whomever.  She has nor would she ever admit to any wrong doing in our marriage nor offered any apologies for her actions throughout the years, even though the facts tell the true story.  When I took my witnesses to the divorce court date, the judge read the decree and said to me "son, I'm not even going to call your witnesses, I believe you have been through enough".  She didn't attend the court date.  I believe she knew that my witnesses would show where the fault was in our marriage.  I gave my life to Christ in 1973, got remarried in 1974 and started preaching in 1976.  I have been blessed to sing with 2 Gospel Groups .  A snowblower accident at work ended my being a pianist, due to cutting a finger off and having it re-attached in 2002.  I currently Pastor  a country church of about 90 to 100 people.  The hardiest thing I have had to endure was the loss of my 37 year old son, 3 years ago, July 6th, 2005.  He died in a car wreck.  My ex-wife (his mother) still hates me and only said 3 words to me at his funeral. "It was inevitable" was all she said to me.  I still hear of the hateful and hurtful things she says about me.  She tells people I don't ever go to my son's grave, etc. She only tells people what she wants them to believe.  I put that to rest this July 6th, when I went to his grave to just spend some "alone" time.  Guess who was there, she was, along with my daughter.  She never spoke and I didn't stay.My daughter came over to my car and we shed some tears together.  She and I are still close and always will be.  She is truly special in my life. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 35 years and I joined DS to try and help others with depression, alcohol, and drug issues. There many more things I could list, her other attempts to kill me, the police being at my home, watching over me when I was too drunk and spaced out to watch over myself during that time in my life.  One of these cops is a member of my church now.  He stood up not long ago in a testimony meeting and said "I sure am glad I didn't shoot you when I should have' "  God bless him, he has become a great friend over the years. My dad lived to see me saved and lived to hear me preach.  He became my best friend and He went to be with the Lord at 94 years old.  I have been thru so much but, I have also been truly blessed.   There are those who have never forgiven me for my past.  Many still believe all the lies that she told on me all these years and that is their choice.  I have learned I can't erase or change what was done from 1964 to 1972.  I wish I could.  It's a shame but she is still a bitter, hateful, and a very unhappy person, even though she remarried years ago too.  When she was diagnosed with breast cancer years ago, I put her on my church prayer list.  She has been cancer free now 13 years to which I am very glad for her.  Pee Wee       I