my soul aches

i can't even watch the news anymore... almost every day i hear more and more news about teenagers doing such HEINOUS crimes at such young ages. i'm so sick and tired of hearing it! not too long ago, there were those 13 and 14 yr old boys that went into a school and raped a 12 yr girl repeatedly for 3 days!!! then the 6 teens that beat a 15 yr old girl unconcious and then raped her! and today i hear about some teens that poured gas on another kid and lit him on fire-- ALIVE!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO PEOPLE THESE DAYS??!!!!! do parents NOT teach their young RIGHT and WRONG anymore??!?!?! my heart is so broken, my soul aches. i feel so helpless for not being able to go and find all these teens and TOURTURE THEM! i want to cause inhuman pain to them. not kill them, just cause horrendus pain to them. and for all the rapists out there, i wish a law were passed for all of you to get castrated. forget jail or "rehabilitaion" ... just castrate the fuckers, no matter what their age. if they are young enough to know what rape is and act it out, then they should have their damn balls cut off for the rest of their lives. the victims live with scarrs forever, so the perpetrator should have scars and pain for the rest of their lives too! an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth!!! if i had the money and power, i would PAY for people to do damage to those fucks! that's were my money would go... every time some innocent person or kid gets hurt that way, i would be paying others to hurt all those who did it, AND the poeple that stood there and just watched with out doing anything, they would get hurt just as bad, just for watching and letting it happen! i feel like this nation has become a GODLESS nation. nobody does what's right anymore, just whatever their EVIL hearts desire.....EXHALE....  in other news....i'm flying out to ST Luis MO for a confrence Thur night- Mon ...the org that funded me to start my group last year is holding it, and paying for it. i'm excited! can't wait to network with them and maybe they can help me jump start my group again since the military hospital STOLE my group behind my back AND are taking credit for it!!! worse part is they didn't ask to include me, just took it from me. backstabbing assholes!! Sonnie is thinkin of cancelling the trip to the philipines due the 4th typhoon hitting them and closing the airport. but i'm telling you, he is so nuts that if the air port was still open, no matter how disasterous the condition is, he would still go. nut case!! i still plan on taking him to the hospital when i get back from my trip.   we took in another kitten. i found her laying on the pavement out side in the parking lot half dead. she's about 5-6 weeks old and blind. i mean she can see shadows but mostly blind. her eyes got infected and damaged. we are nursing her back to health and then i will find her a loving family who can care for a blind cat. so far, the vet (doc) said that if they CAN save her sight it won't be much at all and she'll mostlikely be permanently blind. but honestly.... if it were up to me, i'd find homes for Miko and Spike and just keep the little kitty instead. we named her Hersheys- like the candy bar because she is THE SWEETEST kitty i've ever come across! she just loves hugs and kisses, and she constantly gives kisses and purrs! i'd rather keep her over the other 2 kittens. LOL. but Matthew said we are NOT giving the other kittens away! if we have to, we will keep all 4 cats. ---oh great, i said, that's a freakin house full! yikes! also... it's been a little over a few weeks since off cymbalta, but i'm still having withdrawals. mainly just the brain zapps now. but it's getting less frequent! thank GOD!!!!  so that's all for now.... yeah i know, lots goin on. i love you all my friends and i do really take your advice to heart. it means so much to me. y'all rock!! God bless and take care!ps. don't forget to email me when you write your journals.