My Son David

There is something that I have felt guilty about, when my son passed away a couple years I never broke down I was almost too strong I didn't show emotion. Now I love my son but to this day I don't understand why I didn't cry or act like anything was wrong my son had died and I tried to act like nothing was wrong. Am I bad person is there something wrong with me, my ex wife to this day says I didn't love my son even thou I am a great father to my other two kids. I think when anytime things get to emotionally I tend to clam up and act stoic I want to feel more its like I am afraid to feel.