My son came out

My son came out to me in the 9th grade and told me he is gay, he is now a Senior in high school.  When he first told me I felt a shock and thought no not my son!  I have always wanted grandchildren and also thought oh no its not going to happen now.  He is my only child and Ive always wanted to have more children just never happened. Being brought up in a traditional Christian family there has always been dreams and hopes of having a daughter in law.  Since I have found out he is gay there has been many up and down emotions and honestly  its been hard to accept. He is a wonderful son and I am so proud of him!! He is the only male cheerleader on his cheer team and has made a such a positive impact!! He was hesitant but had lots of support from the girls on the team and I encouraged him to do what he felt he wanted. He wants to be a nurse in the medical field and I know he will pursue it!!  I have told him even though he sayes hes gay I will love him always!! He wants kids someday and I said maybe he can find a surogate that also wants a child or adopt.  I just want happiness for him and to make good decisions in life whatever he chooses. I have gone through so many emotions and its been rough for me and him but I have to just keep going and support him and love him always... hes my son and I loved him from the minute I became pregnant with him.  I feel guilty and bad for not just  agreeing and being ok with this but I have seen other parents posts and it seems to be common and a normal reaction.  Grieving and the whole emotional process that is involved and questions and worry and ridicule all tie into the fact that I as his mom want to protect him.  I have to rearrange things in my mind that I would wish for him and let those things go and let God intervene in the life that my son lives.  I have always thought if I had a child that was gay or lesbian or bi whatever the case that I would accept anyway and I do but until we are put in a situation we never know how we would react or feel especially when it involves our own children. I am trying to deal with my feelings and I know with Gods help everything will be ok and sexual preference is just a small part of the whole person that he is.
 
Thank you for listening-
 
JT