My son and his dog
My 19 year old son that lives at my house ( I dont even live there right now ) has a dog that we have had for several years. His name is Rusty and he is part minature doberman pincher and part bat or deer I think. You would have to see him to understand. My mother gave me this dog many years back as my Uncle David thought she needed companionship and gave her this dog that he had rescued from abusive people. My mother in turn decided that my sons and I could use a new dog and she or her husband were not keen on having him. Anyways he is quite old but he is Dakotas best friend. He got pretty sick last year and in away I was hoping that the vet would want to put him down because I can see alot of pain in his little face. The vet said other then pulling Rustys teeth at $500 he just gave him some antibiotics and sent him home. He has done much better but still cannot walk on his back right leg.Dakota went out camping with some friends on Saturday night and when he got home Sunday he found Rusty very sick and not able to move very well from the back yard, where Dakota had him set up with a bed and food. Under further investigation, he noticed that between Rustys legs quite near his male parts were some kind of wounds that were bleeding and quite large so he called me. I called the vet yesterday and got him an appt for today at 2:10 and took a check to Dakota to pay for the vet and to check Rusty out. It made me cry. This poor little animal has what looks like to me to be abcesses (sp) that are bleeding and smell horrible from infection. His teeth are rotting out and he always has bad breath. But the thing is, is that my Dakota loves this dog to death. He is Dakotas best friend through thick or thin. He is going to be so heart broken if they have to put him down but I just dont know what to do. I cant put out alot of money for a dog that is in alot of pain and old but I dont want my son to be broken hearted. Its quite the dilema but I guess thats what happens when you have pets. I just dont want to hear the news today from my son. He is so precious to me and I hate to see him hurt. I have also been really depressed lately and ofcourse there is not really a reason. I dont feel that Al loves me anymore and that I am just a pain in his ass. I have not been very loving in a sexual way as the meds make me to numb so I have to kinda fake that part of our relationship but lately have been just to tired to even do that. Al is a really good man, better then most and I dont want to lose him but I just dont know what to do anymore. It frustrates him that we are not being intimate and it frustrates me because I dont want to be. In the good old days I would just move home and drink myself into oblivion but that isnt the answer either. I am just so depressed for some reason and need to pull my head out of my ass. I have had plenty of unsucessful relationships and I dont want to lose Al but it seems like I always screw up some how. Oh well I will get through this and pull myself out of it.. Just really stressed and tired.Oh yea, still sober... This is my story and Im sticking with it.. Peace.. Y'Vonne
Replies
Have you talked with Al about all of your feelings concerning your relationship with him?
I am sorry your son may loose his dog. I hope the little fella is not in too much pain.
Hang in there.
Sweetie. You\'ve got to tell Al what is going on and get to the doctor to try and find some kind of meds that will change the way that the ones you are on are making you feel. There are lots of differnt meds out there and they all don\'t have the same side effects. I know that you probably don\'t feel like going through the testing period but think of the possible consiquences if you don\'t. Look at me. Where do you think that my wife and my troubles started. In the bedroom and they just spread from there. And I am telling you it is a living hell. Splitting up would be the best thing for us now case there just ain\'t anything left.
Its a shame that anti depressants have sexual side effects. I think you should explain this to Al and as William says ~ talk to your doctor, about trying something else.
Hey, for my hero...don\'t make the poor little dog suffer...I kept one of my cats alive because I couldn\'t face losing it and he had to suffer longer for it. I feel bad!! I know it\'s a delima...because you don\'t want your son to suffer. And, maybe you should try another med for depression that does not have same side effects. I hate seeing you go thru so much, you have been thru so much already!!! I would love to see you just soooooo happy!! You really deserve it. So, if you love Al and want to make it work you have to be honest and let him know whats going on!!! I am sure you can work out some things. Keep us posted.
love you tons
ruth
I think ur vet will know what to do and maybe they will make the decision for you...My problem is the oppisit with my hubby he don\'t want to and I do, but I am not on meds either..I think that if you just explain to him he will understand...take one step at a time and things allways work out one way or another...Yes and talk to ur Doc about this..I like ur thinking though u need to pull ur head out of ur hinny and smell the roses not the poo lol....Take care and be postive..Hugz and Love Vic
I have such a lot of guilt about sex, or lack of it, even though I know it\'s mostly due to the prozac. It\'s the one thing I can\'t fake. Al loves you for you, not what you can give him. Mike puts up with so much crap from me, and at times I worry that he\'ll get tired of me. Talking about it is the only way to put your mind at ease, even though it\'s hard to do.
Sorry about Rusty. When Dan\'s hamster died I was a wreck for a week, so I can\'t imagine how you feel. We feel so much pain for our kids. Big hugs to you.
thinking of you...
Oh Yvone, I love the way u always end ur je\'s...! But, on the serious side. Rusty is going to die soon some day anyways, right? Well, Dakota will have to get \"over that\" eventually, right? It seems to me the only humane thing to do would be to put him down as soon as possible so that he doesn\'t have to endure pain a minute longer that he needs to and Dakota will learn fm this experience. I understand the \"hurt\" of losing a precious pet but think about what Rusty would want....MUch love dear friend. I also understand ur relationship with Al because it seems my H and I are in the same place. All we can do is stay sober, pray and everything else will sort itself out. Not much else we can do.
Sorry about the dog. They can really be part of the family...
As to the rest, all you can do is your best.
I hsve had to put three animals down in my life. It is the hardest thing to do. Your son will know when the time is right. Rusty is suffering so much - just to be here for Dakota. Dogs are amazing. Good luck and stay strong.
It\'s hard to watch an amimal who\'s loved so much suffer and even harder to make the decision to end that suffering. With the other things going on in your life, it\'s a heavy burden. I wish you the best.
Id go with the vets opinion ,hes the one with the answer,they try there very hardest to preserve life every day and if its beyond that point then the vets the one that knows.I do sympathize with you I lost my dog companion of 12 years the week right after i lost my father it was devastateing ,pets are valued members of the famliy and there loss should be treated with the same respect due ,Im sorry for your loss.