My Sons

From the time I was a kid, maybe 13 years old, I always wanted to be a father.  I always wanted sons of my own.  That may sound strange but its true
I remember when my first son was born my dad pulled me aside and told me "It will be ok son, don't be scared you will be a good Dad".  I remember looking at him like he was crazy.  Of course I will be a good Dad.  I loved my son since he was a blip on the sonogram.  I had no fear at all.  I was excited.  Cried my head off when he came out.   There was nothing I wanted more and nothing that I have ever loved so instantly. 
When my second son was born I was just as excited, just not as scared of the whole birthing process.  I didn't feel any different about him.  I felt he was more of a gift for my oldest.  Every boy needs a brother.
Since those days I have had times when I was a great dad and times when I failed.  A few things I always did.  I always told my boys I loved them.  Every day multiple times a day.  And when ever I spanked or punished them.  I always returned that night to explain what I did and why and that I loved them.
I've been a cub scout leader, boy scout leader, baseball coach, basketball coach, and soccer coach.  I have no child hood experience at any of those things.  Regardless I did it for my boys.  Probably made a fool out of my self in the process.
My sons and my family have always come first.  In fact I neglected my own family, brothers, mother etc in favor of my family. 
So what do I regret?  I think I may have spoiled them a little.  I think I failed at teaching them the value of a dollar, although I tried. 
I didn't pay enough attention to their school work.  My wife handled that while I did sports and recreation.
I always made their birthdays special, vacations the best I could do, and encouraged sleep overs and lots of activities with friend.
Is it strange that my 15 and my 10 year old love to hop in the bed with me and lay next to each other and watch movies?  Its probably our most favorite thing to do.  We just sit and watch tv and talk about when I was a kid.  I tell them about the good ole days when you could do prank calls and stuff.  They love those stories.  My 15 year old son feels no shame for hugging his dad.  I can remember that age and would never think of showing affection to my father as a 15 year old boy.
Although I am not a perfect Dad I sure try my best.  I may be a lot of things, bad husband, failed partner in marriage, and not a good son.  But I think I have been the best Dad I know how to be.