My sister survives surgery
Lyn is actually my ex-sister-in-law, but after my marriage to Larry ended about 12 years ago, she and I decided we needed to formalize a permanent sisterhood which would withstand the vagaries of marriage. We pronounced each other sister in each other's churches, for real!In May when Andy died, Lyn, who is also a seminarian, delivered the beautiful powerful eulogy that ended the service... words I will never ever forget. Beautiful words.
Today Lyn was in surgery for 8 hours. 8 hours under anesthesia, 6 hours in active surgery... for a brain tumor. Too much, isn't it. Her other brother Fred has written to say that the surgeon thinks it went well. The tumor WAS wrapped around her optic nerve and carotid artery, but he thinks he got it all. Whew. I might exhale once she wakes up and we have our sweet Lyn back in the game.
Tomorrow is the day that our world crashed down around us, one year ago. If you've been on a cancer journey with someone or for yourself, you know how devastating it is to find out that it is back, that it has progressed, that your treatment isn't working. That's what we found out, a year ago tomorrow. It was a day of darkness, with emotional thunder, lightning, and torrential downpours for Andy and all of us. Every time I think about it I want to cry in a way that I did not do on that day... I had to keep him from killing himself that night... but the release might come tonight or tomorrow, as I give thanks for Lyn and grieve for Andy.
And tomorrow I will drive my 82 and 85 year old parents down to CT to visit Mum's sister and BIL. We will give thanks that they are still kicking, too. But October 1st will always be a very dark day in my heart. The day the music got turned up to full blast, like wild desperate chaotic hyper surround sound, to be the sound track of a life being lived at wild desperate chaotic hyper pace until it was over.
More thoughts tomorrow.
xoxoxoxo
Today Lyn was in surgery for 8 hours. 8 hours under anesthesia, 6 hours in active surgery... for a brain tumor. Too much, isn't it. Her other brother Fred has written to say that the surgeon thinks it went well. The tumor WAS wrapped around her optic nerve and carotid artery, but he thinks he got it all. Whew. I might exhale once she wakes up and we have our sweet Lyn back in the game.
Tomorrow is the day that our world crashed down around us, one year ago. If you've been on a cancer journey with someone or for yourself, you know how devastating it is to find out that it is back, that it has progressed, that your treatment isn't working. That's what we found out, a year ago tomorrow. It was a day of darkness, with emotional thunder, lightning, and torrential downpours for Andy and all of us. Every time I think about it I want to cry in a way that I did not do on that day... I had to keep him from killing himself that night... but the release might come tonight or tomorrow, as I give thanks for Lyn and grieve for Andy.
And tomorrow I will drive my 82 and 85 year old parents down to CT to visit Mum's sister and BIL. We will give thanks that they are still kicking, too. But October 1st will always be a very dark day in my heart. The day the music got turned up to full blast, like wild desperate chaotic hyper surround sound, to be the sound track of a life being lived at wild desperate chaotic hyper pace until it was over.
More thoughts tomorrow.
xoxoxoxo
Replies
/dear friend: so awful. My friend\'s son just had his brain cancer operated on successfully and everyone is celebrating. Life is just too tough. I hope and pray your sister recovers well and that you\'re able to feel stable and brave. I just can\'t believe we survive all these terrific, desperate, times. I\'m glad your folks are still with you. My mom, who died at 90 and lived with us her last ten years, used to tell me that everything would be alright. And I believed her. Of course, who would have thought I\'d lose a son?
I\'m here, if I can be of any help. You know my heart is with you and your sister. I used to wonder how so many Jewish people began new lives after the holocaust. I understand more now. They began new families, in new cities, with new mates. It just baffles me the resilience we seem to be born with. Thank G-d for that. The first of the month is always bad for me. that\'s when my son died. Thankfully, quickly, in his sleep. We were spared so much.
Dear Sarah, I am so sad for Andy and for you. I can\'t even imagine how that terrible news, that terrible dIsease affected Andy & you, his mom. I too, as our sister who commented above was blessed to have my son pass quickly. My heart hurts for all our kids, but the suffering, I can\'t even imagine. I cry with you. The resilience, I believe is a gift that God equips us with. I pray we can all access the resilience of the human spirit. I will pray for your sister Lyn\'s full recovery. Please keep us posted. I wish you peace tomorrow. Love to you and Andy, Linda
My heartfelt thoughts are with you and I wish you and your sister, Lyn, many, many happy and healthy years ahead of you. Truly your friend, BarbaraWawa
I offer you my prayers, and thoughts of a peacefull day. I send my pryers for a speedy recoverey for Lyn,, and yes I know that feeling when they tell teh family it\'s back...my dad and we just passed his 5th angel date..lung cancer for a man who never smoked. love and peace to you,, Nora
I do remember the day, they told Jay his tumor had progressed. We knew it already, but just the reality hit us hard. Take care on this day, it isn\'t easy.
Hugs, Pam
I witnessned my husband and my oldest brother battle lose their battle with cancer. You are in my thoughts and prayers for Lyn and your precious Andy.
Love to you, Pat
Dear Sarah,
I am thinking about you today. I also remember so well the horrible news that Jon\'s cancer had spread to his lungs and there was no effective treatment. And then, a couple months later, when we learned the chemo had stopped helping and that the cells were growing again. It\'s a nightmare. I know that you and Andy must have been terrified, as Jon and I were. I\'m also thinking about your sister, Lyn, and wishing her strength in the days ahead. What an extraordinary person she must be. I used to wonder when I\'d read in obits that someone had lost his/her battle with cancer whether it was really a battle for everyone. Well, that was before Jon went through his and now I know that, yes, its a battle for everyone who is striken. You are very much in my thoughts. With love, Linda
I have become more baffled with how much can go so terribly painfully wrong and bring terror, sorrow pain, fear and a kind of awed amazement that it is all happening. I am sure that your sister is fortunate to have you at this time. One good unchanging fortune is that those people who are really truly with us...well, we learn there is NO substitute for that, none.....
my thoughts and a prayer are with you as you go through this and have the memories stirred again
Thinking of you and wondering how yesterday was.... Hoping your sis in law heals and how blessed you are to have both of your parents. This is a treasure. I can only imagine how that felt to find out that what was being done for Andy was not working any longer... a tsunami of every thought, feeling and emotion known. Gentle healing for you and all your loved ones. XXOO Joanie
I missed this journal. Sounds like you have awesome parents....I wish your sister, the best, in recovery. And you strength to deal, with everything....Gay