My Silence

Recent weeks have been harrowing as I have watched my mother slip by increments. It all came to a head on Wednesday when she went in for day surgery. When the surgeon came to do the endoscopy he could not get the tube past the constriction. What he could see was a build up of food, massive inflammation and ulceration.
 
After the surgery Mum slipped further and now cannot take anything. As a result she is in hospital and we are none the wiser.
 
Here in Australia, if you are elderly and have chosen to be supported at home, it takes hospitalization for important decisions to be made. As a family we are hoping that the immediate care for Mum has been taken out of our hands and that she will have to stay in hospital.
 
I have been silent here but working in a creative setting to deal with what is happening in my life. Most particularly I have been wrestling with the internal force which would put me in charge, be the prominent figure. It has gone against the grain but I have been making sure that my eldest sister and the brother who lives near Mum are taking prominent roles. I have been endeavouring to make sure that the responsibilites are shared equally and that decisions are made by a collective.
 
Needless to say this has triggered lots of stuff for me and bought back memories I would rather forget. Life seems determined to keep challenging me.
 
Thanks to those who have enquired about my well being. I appreciate the support.