My Silence
Recent weeks have been harrowing as I have watched my mother slip by increments. It all came to a head on Wednesday when she went in for day surgery. When the surgeon came to do the endoscopy he could not get the tube past the constriction. What he could see was a build up of food, massive inflammation and ulceration.
After the surgery Mum slipped further and now cannot take anything. As a result she is in hospital and we are none the wiser.
Here in Australia, if you are elderly and have chosen to be supported at home, it takes hospitalization for important decisions to be made. As a family we are hoping that the immediate care for Mum has been taken out of our hands and that she will have to stay in hospital.
I have been silent here but working in a creative setting to deal with what is happening in my life. Most particularly I have been wrestling with the internal force which would put me in charge, be the prominent figure. It has gone against the grain but I have been making sure that my eldest sister and the brother who lives near Mum are taking prominent roles. I have been endeavouring to make sure that the responsibilites are shared equally and that decisions are made by a collective.
Needless to say this has triggered lots of stuff for me and bought back memories I would rather forget. Life seems determined to keep challenging me.
Thanks to those who have enquired about my well being. I appreciate the support.
After the surgery Mum slipped further and now cannot take anything. As a result she is in hospital and we are none the wiser.
Here in Australia, if you are elderly and have chosen to be supported at home, it takes hospitalization for important decisions to be made. As a family we are hoping that the immediate care for Mum has been taken out of our hands and that she will have to stay in hospital.
I have been silent here but working in a creative setting to deal with what is happening in my life. Most particularly I have been wrestling with the internal force which would put me in charge, be the prominent figure. It has gone against the grain but I have been making sure that my eldest sister and the brother who lives near Mum are taking prominent roles. I have been endeavouring to make sure that the responsibilites are shared equally and that decisions are made by a collective.
Needless to say this has triggered lots of stuff for me and bought back memories I would rather forget. Life seems determined to keep challenging me.
Thanks to those who have enquired about my well being. I appreciate the support.
Replies
It is so hard to watch those we love suffer and watch as their health fails. I had to with my mother also. I am sorry. Hugs!!
My heart goes out to you. Life sure can throw some twists and turns. I do agree with you in the regard that it is a relief when the immediate care is taken out of our hands. It is very similar here as what you are describing where you live. Mom had a bad fall and was admitted to hospital. They found some other health challenges as well that needed emergency care. They have now took over and will be placing her in a nursing home. It is all a relief for me. Now I can focus on just being there for her.
I hope your mom is going to be alright and that they can figure things out. It is so hard when you are waiting and are in the dark. Big hugs.
It seems like you are handling things for your family and doing quite well. Keep up the positive energy that you seem to have. I think life is constantly challenging, which keeps us on our toes. I hope you can have some good memories with the bad ones. Peace to you...Nancy
All of you are in my prayers. Your mom for getting better and you and sibs for the strength you need to get her through this. Life is never calm is seems and change does seem to be the norm. Keep up the positive thoughts and remember to leave some time for yourself. Hugs and loads of good thoughts Jane
Thinking of you and knowing how tough this is...
hugs
Sel
I have been in your shoes,,it is so hard....just go with your heart~have no regrets~
My prayers are with you and your family. I hope that everything works out and your mom stays in the hospital until she gets better. It is a very tough time for you especially because memories are coming back to you. Hang in there and ask God for strenght and guidance during this crisis. Hugs Linda
You\'re right, life is full of challenges and changes! You will get through this, just hang in there. I\'m glad you have your sister and brother to share things with. It would be much more difficult without them.
I know how it is, when my Mom went downhill in 2007 the same year Dan passed, my brother lives out of state and could not be here. That made it terribly difficult to try and make decisions over the phone. My heart goes out to you, and I\'m saying some prayers. Love, Sue
This is such a tough thing to go through, particularly how it brings back all those memories. Thinking of you and hoping you keep finding the strength and support to keep going. Take care. Patrick
Nothing much to add to what\'s already been said, except to send my Love, Hugs, and Prayers as well, Martha
its so hard Heather,l hate all those tests that everyone has to go through,we have all been there haven,t we with our husbands,and some of them are so painful.The other week l took my mother the doctors because she has been complaining of a constant cough,but it only happens when she eats,he said to me that as we age,everything becomes narrower,including the windpipe,so as she,s eating its getting restricted in her throat,so she has started to mash her food up,like baby food,because she is finding it hard to swallow,old age its no fun really is it.
thinking of you all
Alice
I also want to send you hugs to help you get through these difficult days. It is very difficult to have to watch our loved ones suffer and on top of it all to have to deal with so many other issues. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Sil
Hey Heather..just wanted to say I am thinking about you and wishing you strength and endurance while you deal with this latest challenge. Prayers for your Mom and hoping things better for you all very soon. Cindy xxoo