my sick addiction

Just going to remind everyone that this is my journal where I can put my thoughts, feelings, and emotions with out being judged. That being said, I have a sick sick addiction. I love Toddlers and Tiaras. That show on TLC. The one DH refers to as a pedophile show. I LOVE it. Lord help us if I have a girl. SO last night was the season premier, I have been waiting for it. I watched it this morning because I was so tired yesterday I was in bed at 9. Well I have never ever liked that bratty, full of herself, undisciplined buck tooth 5 year old pacifier sucking Mackenzie. I know harsh for a 5 year old. But its my opinion. I was so so so happy when she didn’t get anything! He teeth are so jacked up from sucking a pacifier for 5 years. I mean come on mom, put your foot down. She wont be a beauty queen with those teeth. She needs a total mouth reconstruction.
 
Ok enough of that. Yesterday was a great day with Ian. We went to the zoo with a friend I met at the park. She has a 2 year old and a 9 month old. We clicked right away. She lost her first child Daniel at 36 weeks pregnant. They don’t know what happened. He just passed away at 36 weeks. We have bonded over that and she gets me and I get here. She is a speech therapist. I brought up the fact that Ian doesn’t have a big vocabulary at all and asked what is normal for his age. She said typically they like to see a 50 word vocabulary. Ya he has maybe a 7 word vocabulary. She said not to worry and wait a few months then we could get him evaluated. He excels at everything else and is super smart. I brought it up to Dh and told him its nothing to worry about but if he doesn’t start talking more in the next 3 months we need to get him evaluated. He of course freaks out and spends the rest of the night teaching Ian words then when Ian repeats it he is like he can say cup, he can say bath ect ect. He doesn’t understand that repeating things is not the same as using them in his vocabulary. I am really working in getting him to call me mommy. He calls me mom. He is to young to be doing that. I have waited along time to be a mommy so every time he says mom I say mommy. Then he says mom me (and points to himself) . It will take some time but we are working on it.
 
I totally over did it yesterday. I was exhausted and went to bed at like 8 and watched tv till 9 then feel asleep. The zoo was fun but we were disappointed that most of the animals were hiding from us so we only saw a handful of them. I was shocked how busy they were for a Tuesday. School is still in out here but it had a ton of kids and moms thinking what we were. We would go before summer kicked off.
 
Im trying to will myself to take Ian to the pool this afternoon. Im just so tired all the time. I keep waiting to get my energy back. 11 weeks tomorrow so anytime. The nausea is slowly going away. So im hoping the exhaustion isn’t far behind. I CAN NOT believe I will be 12 weeks next week. Where in the world did the time go? I have no idea. I swear im still getting use to the idea I am pregnant. I still have no proof by looking at me. The shorts I wore yesterday where size 4 and falling off me. I have been wearing my bathing suite from last summer since it’s a tank kini but I think I may start wearing a normal one to get my tummy some son. Im sure one day I will wake up an boom have a tummy. I don’t for see the maternity clothes coming out for at least 5 more weeks. Soon enough im in no hurry. I don’t have a ton of maternity clothes since I borrowed one of my BF entire maternity wardrobe last time.
 
Well I need to go take a shower and run to the store. Dh is of course out of town again. He got home lat night at like 6:15. The was off again until tomorrow night. He has maybe seen ian for 4 hours all week. Its been a rough week for me. Thank goodness the weekend is almost here. I here a pool day calling our name Saturday. Its a lot easier when I have Dh there to help.