My scribblings for today
Good morning journal,the time is 9:10am,I have just emerged from our bedroom,where I spent last night alone with our dogs,my wife having chosen to sleep on the sofa because of an argument we had. I don't really know how it started,one minute everything was fine,and the next,we were engaged in verbal fisticuffs.I was tired and just wanted to sleep,and finally I managed to drop off,so I don't really know how it finished,or what is was about,but I regret upsetting her bitterly,whatever it was that I am supposed to have done.I dreamed unusual and sad dreams in technicolor,and this morning,I awoke with words in my mind,so I'm going to write them here for you journal,and anyone else who cares to read them,I was with my daughter in my dreams,she was the same little girl I remember,laughing and happy,and when I was finally awakened by the pain in my back,I was crushed,as always,by the realization that it was just a dream.So,to the words in my mind,here is another poem from the mental pen of me.
The Highway of my Soul
I was on a road to nowhere,on the highway of my soul,
the wind blew hard against me,and the night was black as coal,
and as I looked the road ahead,no signpost could I see,
and I realized the only traveler on that road was me.
Loneliness bit cold and hard,and chilled my very bones,
and the asphalt on the road was cracked, and strewn with broken stones,
each crack a shattered dream,and every stone a hope now dead,
there is nothing very pleasant,on this highway in my head.
no sense of purpose or direction,instead just empty space,
and a feeling of the rain,or is it tears upon my face?,
it doesn't really matter,nothing does,it seems on here,
on this highway in my head,there's only sadness,doubt and fear.
no concept of reality,no sense of time at all,
I'm so tired of getting up each time,every time I fall,
my heart and soul are weary,and my spirit all but dead,
and I feel so lost and lonely,on this highway in my head.
I pray each night before I sleep,for God to end my pain,
but every time I end up,on this highway once again,
maybe someday He will listen,as I lie here on my bed,
and free me from destruction,on the highway in my head.
There you go journal,that's it for me today,I will live this day the best I know how,by trying to be agreeable and pleasant,and staying as calm as possible.I am sorry that I upset my wife,but I can't change it now,so I will apologize and strive to get through the remainder of the day without fanning the flames of her hurt any more.Until next time,please let us have a day of peace and reconciliation.
The Highway of my Soul
I was on a road to nowhere,on the highway of my soul,
the wind blew hard against me,and the night was black as coal,
and as I looked the road ahead,no signpost could I see,
and I realized the only traveler on that road was me.
Loneliness bit cold and hard,and chilled my very bones,
and the asphalt on the road was cracked, and strewn with broken stones,
each crack a shattered dream,and every stone a hope now dead,
there is nothing very pleasant,on this highway in my head.
no sense of purpose or direction,instead just empty space,
and a feeling of the rain,or is it tears upon my face?,
it doesn't really matter,nothing does,it seems on here,
on this highway in my head,there's only sadness,doubt and fear.
no concept of reality,no sense of time at all,
I'm so tired of getting up each time,every time I fall,
my heart and soul are weary,and my spirit all but dead,
and I feel so lost and lonely,on this highway in my head.
I pray each night before I sleep,for God to end my pain,
but every time I end up,on this highway once again,
maybe someday He will listen,as I lie here on my bed,
and free me from destruction,on the highway in my head.
There you go journal,that's it for me today,I will live this day the best I know how,by trying to be agreeable and pleasant,and staying as calm as possible.I am sorry that I upset my wife,but I can't change it now,so I will apologize and strive to get through the remainder of the day without fanning the flames of her hurt any more.Until next time,please let us have a day of peace and reconciliation.
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