MY RESPONSE TO "A LITTLE 'UNCOMFORTABLE. LITTLE 'BUMPS' AND 'DINGS' "

 "...a little uncomfortable. Little bumps and dings..." Hmmm....you mean like this: I have never been AFRAID of anything in my life! NOTHING scares me...but in 2008 I was all alone, curled up into a fetal position under the covers at the foot of my bed for three and a half hours as the POWER OF GOD literally swirled around me in the form of a HURRICANE outside my house!!!! 5 months later in 2009, my then 16 year old son was suspended, arrested, and charged with a FELONY for writing on school property...and that wasn't the worst of it!...the worst part of that was that I saw MY SON handcuffed to chair talking to an officer like he was some sort of CRIMINAL...sure the charges were dropped, he went back to school and graduated last year, and for the most part he is a good christian boy...BUT that image of him handcuffed to a chair like that has NEVER left my mind....then... 6 months later, my addict husband took MY truck to go to the store and didn't return till almost 20 hours later...WITHOUT MY TRUCK... claims it was stolen, told his brother it was stolen while WE were at a concert!...truth is I lost all trust in him that day...I still love him, but I just cant bring myself to trust him! SO...I brushed everything above off my shoulder...and decided to just take care of me!...I went back to school...I started working on realizing a dream...and I was actually doing great... Till I got involved in Student Government and let that power go to my head...along with my perfectionism, I was doing good but people don't like when other people (like me) try to things the right way and don't agree with all their stupid opinions and well they just started to bring me down...and although they couldn't succeed in ruining MY or my Boards reputation, because we hadn't done anything wrong...they did succeed in causing me to fail all my classes!!!!.... Add to that the SUICIDE of one of my son's friend's (I was in Anatomy class studying the circulatory system, when I got a call from my son!...His friend who was known as Sunshine because he was always smiling, and brought happiness to all those around him, had shot himself on Valentines Day night) Can you imagine sitting in a Sanctuary, that holds 1100 people on Easter Sunday, with that many HIGH SCHOOL students paying their respect to their Friend!!!!...THAT was one of the saddest days of my LIFE, I can't even begin to imagine how THEY felt...or His Parents. Anyway, after that came 2011...when my son decided to try to push his boundaries and I was forced to literally put my hands on him, and put the fear of GOD into him!!!...another picture that never leaves my mind! :( And that same weekend, my husband decides to go on a binge again...and he's runningaround with all these addicts/dealers chasing his damn high!...and lying to me like always...and I guess just expecting me to be scared of them or something...I wasn't ...I just confronted them...driving HIS CAR...and just told them how sorry I felt for them and that I'd pray for them - all of them!!!!! That was all the week before Thanksgiving, 2011...then came 2012...I was still struggling through the student government crap...struggling through a continuing to fail marriage/relationship.. ...financially struggling through my son's Sr year...when I got PHYSICALLY ill!!!!...I don't go to the Dr....I don't like going to the Dr! I spent my entire childhood going to the Dr. and in hospitals...I avoid them like the plague!!!...Well, this got so bad that I was forced to go to the Dr. and what does the Dr tell me? Well she tells me "Your GOD must really love you, and has you here for a reason!" My blood pressure was so high, that rather than having a stroke, my body was slowly shutting down system by system AND it started with my Digestive system!!!! And that was bad enough to get me to the Dr...so that she could put me on I don't know how many meds to try to control my blood pressure...AND today, I am 3 meds for BP, 2 meds for Asthma, 1 med for allergies, and 3 for depression/anxiety/insomnia!!!! REALLY!?...Yeah! For a person who hates going to the Dr, and hates taking meds...this is just way too much!!!!!! And for the nice cherry on top!!!...THIS YEAR, I have been struggling financially, trying my damnest to start a small business...and then one week in June, I am just knocked back down....by three complete strangers who SCAMMED ME out of $200! and my husband who put his hands on me in anger for the very first time!!!!!! SO!....if you read ALL THAT (sorry, I can get a little long-winded)... what do you think? ...Hows that for a little uncomfortable or a little bumps and dings? Keep in mind, that's NOT everything...I didn't include irrelevant things like random shootings in my driveway, drugdeals on our street, and repeated thefts of MY things from my yard... ALSO...keep in mind that this is the FIRST time I am telling ANYONE this...I am a very private person...and what happens to me, stays with me...SO, I don't tell anyone with the exception of Drs, lawyers, and officials...but to tell my friends or family? OH NO!...I would never do that!!!!!! Just like I don't like to ask for help! Well?

Replies

angel1313
angel1313

WOW IM IN SHOCK THAT YOU ARE A SURVIOR IN A DIFFERENT WAY THAN ME BLESS YOUR HEART SORRY FOR ALL U HAVE GONE THRU & THEN UR HEALTH I HOPE UR DOING A BIT BETTER & I KNOW WHAT U MEAN ABT GETTING THINGS OUT OF UR HEAD THAT U SEE & REALLY TOUGH TO FORGET - IF U EVER NEED A SHOULDER PLEASE WRITE ME ANYTIME..
(((U KEEP UP UR STRENGTH & SMILE)))).... SO VERY PROUD OF U..((SOFT HUGS))))..