My reply to Contacting Estranged Children ... .
Plead read the last entry as this is an add on:
My estrangement situation began with postpartum depression 24 years ago ... I had a few of my kids and sent them back for a home visit with their father (FOOLISHLY) on a promise made "On his mother's GRAVE (!! lol) that he would return them to me ... THE REST is HISTORY.Yes I have written letters to the affect that I am sorry that it ALL happened BUT one can't apologize for being mentally ill. And children who ONLY think of themselves cannot FORGIVE anyways... I THREW AWAY 10 years of my life mourning their loss... And have never been FORGIVEN for moving on with my life when they failed to COME around... FORGIVE WHAT? I had NO CHOICE in the matter. HE had 18 yrs with a major company. I had 18 years with HIM...Guess WHO had the $$. He got a powerful attorney. I had the Public Defender. Doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to figure out WHO WON. But THE CHILDREN LOST. He let them ALL quit school when they were 15 and I wasn't allowed in their lives... I was DEVASTATED. It BROKE my heart. It hurt THEN & it HURTS now... I say, "Jesus, I trust in You..."
I have found my strength through my Catholic faith ... and through my DS Friends. As I said I have moved on. It is just when thoughts return to my children that I am sad and hurt..Most of the time I am a very happy person.
I am especially happy after my recent GBS surgery I had on 1-11-11. I have since lost the total weight of an 8th grader (68lbs)! I have gone from a 3X on that date to a size med/lrg today..
Thank you for your prayers, concern and love that you all have shown me...
skinny
My estrangement situation began with postpartum depression 24 years ago ... I had a few of my kids and sent them back for a home visit with their father (FOOLISHLY) on a promise made "On his mother's GRAVE (!! lol) that he would return them to me ... THE REST is HISTORY.Yes I have written letters to the affect that I am sorry that it ALL happened BUT one can't apologize for being mentally ill. And children who ONLY think of themselves cannot FORGIVE anyways... I THREW AWAY 10 years of my life mourning their loss... And have never been FORGIVEN for moving on with my life when they failed to COME around... FORGIVE WHAT? I had NO CHOICE in the matter. HE had 18 yrs with a major company. I had 18 years with HIM...Guess WHO had the $$. He got a powerful attorney. I had the Public Defender. Doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to figure out WHO WON. But THE CHILDREN LOST. He let them ALL quit school when they were 15 and I wasn't allowed in their lives... I was DEVASTATED. It BROKE my heart. It hurt THEN & it HURTS now... I say, "Jesus, I trust in You..."
I have found my strength through my Catholic faith ... and through my DS Friends. As I said I have moved on. It is just when thoughts return to my children that I am sad and hurt..Most of the time I am a very happy person.
I am especially happy after my recent GBS surgery I had on 1-11-11. I have since lost the total weight of an 8th grader (68lbs)! I have gone from a 3X on that date to a size med/lrg today..
Thank you for your prayers, concern and love that you all have shown me...
skinny
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