my rape

well not so long ago i got rape and i don't think i am over it really yet and i have had no support with it really and i am really struggling i don't like talking to my family members about this because i know how much it hurt them as well as me . i was meant to get counseling after this had happened but i never got it so really i have had to face this alone as well as being a self-harmer this didn't really help my situation  . i am now a really bad self-harmer and am worried about what i am going to end up doing next . because i have tried a lot of things but always not succeeded but i am starting to think the next time i do something i will end up taking my life and it scares me