My Pyromania Difference

Pyromania is emotional torture for me. I don't know why anyone would want this or even joke around about being a pyro. First, not all pyros are excited by fire, some are fixated for other reasons.

I greatly respect it to the point that I'll drop everything and listen to whatever conversational topic involving words related to fire regardless of the disturbing info heard. That's how strong it is. Everyone should practice the same respect around it. Fire is that dangerous. It's not a game.

My uncontrollable pyromaniac urges relieve anxiety. Which is triggered by negative social interaction between other people. I don't even have to be involved to pick up on or be affected  by tension caused by arguing escalating into physical violence.

I'd even make a bad eyewitness because I'm that timid so testifying would be tough. Even if the source of tension leaves the building, I can still feel it in there which makes it tough to live there.

I AM medicated. I still have to carry my lighter and candle wherever I go. Just knowing that I have it, comforts me. I also bought an old genuine firefighter's turn out gear jacket to help calm me down. It heavy and like a reassuring hug. The jacket was retired due to a zipper jam but that doesn't prevent me from pulling it over my head and sliding my arms into the sleeves and pulling it down to my hips like a huge heavy pullover hoodie but without the hood.

I never want to hurt loved ones (kin, friends, pets) or be homeless or in jail for causing a anxiety relief fire. This was not something I wanted, I considered myself to be a pyrophobe but by trying to overcome it with fire safety knowledge. I always thought it would amazing to have pyrokinesis (fire malnipulation) or even being immune to fire by not burning at all.