My pitty party (read at your own risk)

I am just so tired of feeling so down. I hate hate hate being depresed. I have been on meds for going on 6 month snow. They have changed them once. The first meds made me numb. I felt nothing just a constent Blah. I hated that. Th enew ones let m efeel but i fell sad 90% of the time. Im not happy with how things have turned out. I hate hate hate being away from all my family and friends. DH got his dream job and does what he loves and me well im left alone all teh time with a almost 1 year old. Dont get me wrong I love him to death and being a mom is teh best but.. I left my dream job. I loved working i loved doing something and using my brain. Sorry but making a grilled cheese sandwish just isnt that hard. I feel like i got the short end of the stick. I have no job no friends and no family.  My Dh travkes teh world on a weekly bases going new exciting places and im changing poopy diapers. The most interesting thing about my day is wondering what on earth my LO ate to make him poop THAT color. I know meing a SAHM is some people dream but im not one of those people. My wonderfull job let me go part time when I had the baby 9-2 it was PERFECT. Now with living 700 miles away from a suport system working is not an option. With DH rotataing days off we would never get to be a family. I just want to feel alive again. I just want to use my brian and feel usefull. I feel like im missing something. ,Well i have to run. DOnt worry im going back to the doctors next week to see if we cant adjust my meds once again.