My Pitty Party

I do believe I am about ready to cave in. I try so gosh darn hard to be positive for everyone else all the time that I am running on empty. My life just seemed to keep getting harder and harder. My house is a disaster and I hurt so bad that I just can't seem to talk myself into even trying. My debit card was stolen in June and we lost so much money from that we are behind on everything. Our fridge died at the beginning of July and we lived out of coolers for three weeks until we rented a fridge because the part it needs has been on back order for a month and we don't know when we will get it fixed. Two nights ago our cat died. He was only ten and he was my 14 year olds first new pet. We had a cat before she was born. I became a Lingerie/Romance Accessories Agent a few months ago with a "friend" and she screwed me out of atleast $550.00 if not more. Now I am trying to do it on my own and between not feeling well because of the Fibro and people not being willing to book parties. I am not doing very well. I feel like I'm barely holding on to my sanity. This doggone disease takes so much away from me as it is and now I fear that I am falling in to a big black hole and am not even being a very good wife or mother. This disease has taken so much from me but I really feel that it has taken even more away from my family. I use to be very active and always on the go. My house was clean, everything taken care off and oranized. Now I can barely load the washer or dishwasher without needing to take a break because if te pain it causes. I take the medicine the Dr. gave me and I know that it has helped a bit because I don't cringe when people touch me anymore. But I still have alot of problem just getting out of bed because of all the symtoms. I don't get the "flair ups" I have heard people mention. I feel like I am in a constant flair up with a few reasonably good days thrown in. If I can take care of my childrens needs and keep my family fed and clothed I try to consider that a good day. Maybe that is all I am allowed to get these days. Enough of this moping, thank you for listening, it is a blessing I found a safe haven to express my disappointments and frustrations.