My Pillar

I feel the winds here howl,
like the dogs of war bellowing,
calling out my name,
yet only to push me away.
"Now is not your time." they say,
"Your purpose is yet to be fullfilled."
So I cry back to them, "I am all alone!"
Only silence I can feel.
 
So I bleed back to all that was before.
Before the shifting of these tides.
Yet the howling still continues.
Continues to reel me in.
This feeling is new, something
has changed.
Like blessings from God,
providing me strength,
a pillar of light,
My pillar of hope.
A wave of warmth runs through me
and million light reflections pass over me.
 
I can feel the understanding,
of all I cannot control,
I feel the urge to jump in,
with warmth I hear a voice
"Come with us!"
Yet Im not ready
Ive yet to live life well.
But the warmth is overwhelming
it draws me closer in.
Now I can see
its only me here,
standing alone atop this mountain
of light.
So I choose to breathe once again.
e.