My own VICIOUS CYCLE
I was up every hour last night with cramping diarrhea. We were celebrating my 8yr olds birthday with a cookout where I ate 1 1/2 pineapple brawts (with buns), chips and dip, raw veggies with hummus, and TONS of chocolate cake with buttercream icing. THEN, guess what I eat tonight??? Leftover pineapple brawt and a HUGE piece of chocolate cake. When I woke up today I felt like I had been out drinking till 3 am...I'm assuming that's why I ended up eating so poorly again today. It's dangerous when I'm too tired. It's my own VICIOUS CYCLE. I could probably be feeling really good by now if I could stick to a diet. I'll do really good for a few days and then I binge. It's so depressing. It's been an issue from as long as I can remember. I know I talk about it ALL the time in my journal entries. I feel so good, both mentally and physically, when I eat well...you'd think I'd do it all the time. I do not want to spend my life battling with myself. I read that it is impossible to have room for love when you obsess over something. I know for me, my relationship is never its best when I'm struggling with food and frequently binging. I want happiness to come easy...it's never seemed to. I want to no longer have to numb myself with food...or anything. I want to always live in the moment.
Replies
Your statement of \"living in the moment\" may indicate an avoidance to thinking of past pain in your life.
I hope this is not the case.
Carrying pain in life is very stressful and these types of things will keep people always close to the threshold of an overflow of stress...or keep someone in a state of anxiety continually.
Christa,
I would think you being so much younger than I am would be so much harder to be \'social\' and going out so much more than we do. I spent years \'comforting\' mysefl with food. I guess, other than weight gain, I never knew what it could be doing to my health like with celiac.
I can on say \" tomorrow is another\" day. I can relate your food issue to my smoking. It is like my friend and comforts me while killing me. I had stopped for 10 years....put our Home on the market in PA .....started and stopped again for 9 months and then Just couldn\'t handle the stress of packing up 31 years of our life in that home and leaving my 15 gardens......so
don\'t beat yourself up as it wont\'t really help and of course you know that already.
Have you tried Bentyl when the cramps hit?