My Own Doctor Who
Last night a new Doctor was born. I'm talking about the sci-fi series, Doctor Who. It was a favorite of my husband starting from way back in the 60s. He used to tell me how the Doctor never died, he just regenerated and came back looking different, and played by a different actor. I think there's been eleven of them now and my husband saw all of them, including the one from the 50s. My husband only saw pictures of the new one.
And life goes on.
So, last night I watched the new one get created. It was sad watching the actor my husband and I both love suddenly dissappear and a new one appear. I sat there watching this regeneration, thinking how much my husband would have enjoyed the episode and how wonderful it would be to watch new adventures together. But I'll watch these by myself. He's my Doctor Who, not my husband's. And so follows the rest of my life. I'll buy a house and it will be my house, not my husband's. I'll watch our grandkids grow up, but it will be my experience not his. And I'll grow and change and the woman who will exist in a few years will not be the woman my husband knew.
I guess I'm fascinated by life and death. Death ends our earthly existence. It cuts ties, it creates new ties. It never ceases to amaze me how much life changes and how quickly it changes when you lose someone you love.
Doctor Who never dies. He's just regenerated. He described it as sort of like death, but the memories of the old life remain. He's immortal, but the old person he was had a life and dreams and interest that the new one wouldn't have. Thus, each regeneration is sort of like a mini birth. The same can be said of my old life. I'm the same woman, but yet different. The old Tru has sort of died, a mini-death. And this one, this new woman is regenerated. I'm a new person with new experiences, and new interest. Oh, how I long for the old life.
And life goes on.
So, last night I watched the new one get created. It was sad watching the actor my husband and I both love suddenly dissappear and a new one appear. I sat there watching this regeneration, thinking how much my husband would have enjoyed the episode and how wonderful it would be to watch new adventures together. But I'll watch these by myself. He's my Doctor Who, not my husband's. And so follows the rest of my life. I'll buy a house and it will be my house, not my husband's. I'll watch our grandkids grow up, but it will be my experience not his. And I'll grow and change and the woman who will exist in a few years will not be the woman my husband knew.
I guess I'm fascinated by life and death. Death ends our earthly existence. It cuts ties, it creates new ties. It never ceases to amaze me how much life changes and how quickly it changes when you lose someone you love.
Doctor Who never dies. He's just regenerated. He described it as sort of like death, but the memories of the old life remain. He's immortal, but the old person he was had a life and dreams and interest that the new one wouldn't have. Thus, each regeneration is sort of like a mini birth. The same can be said of my old life. I'm the same woman, but yet different. The old Tru has sort of died, a mini-death. And this one, this new woman is regenerated. I'm a new person with new experiences, and new interest. Oh, how I long for the old life.
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