My New Year's Fear.
Yesterday (New Year's Eve) I sat thinking about my future. And immediate was filled with Fear.
Fear of financial insecurity.
Fear of health since I don't have any health insurance (couldn't afford it)
Fear of biking alone in the forest with no one knowing where or when to look for me if I got hurt.
Fear of dating.
Fear of just being alone as I grow older.
And as midnight came closer, I started thinking about my "truths".
For example, is anyone really financially secure? The reason I felt secure was because I had a plan for emergencies, like losing a job. So the solution to this is to create a plan that will work for me (save whenever possible). And as I fear the "between now and then", I'm reminding myself that when I moved here 19 years ago, we scraped to get by, ran into major difficulties, had no support but we got through FINE. So I KNOW I can do it again.
Fear of health? Well, listening to the radio the other day, they talked about others who hadn't had insurance for over 10 years. They get through. And so, I plan to take VERY good care of myself this year, eat healthy, exercise, and cautiously ride my bike on the tough trails so that I can master my skills and not crash, lol....
And along those lines... Fear of biking alone? This fear comes from a missing person in our area. She lived alone and on October 4th just disappeared. The news of it has been freaking me out! And yet, I've been biking alone for almost 2 decades now, in mountain lion country (I've seen 3 lions so far). All I needed is someone to know when I left, where I'm going, how long I'd be gone. My solution is to send the details to my son and daughter-in-law so they know to call me on my cell phone (or I can call them) if I get behind or have anything concerning happen, and I'm going to try to connect with other bikers so I won't be alone out there.
Fear of dating... Opening myself to more hurt/betrayal? Opening my emotions/private side up to someone else? TERRIFYING. A friend said to me that when her husband passed away when she was in her 40's (she's 80 now) she felt the same way... so she didn't date! She just focused on her family, and said she was happy she made that decision. Sounds good to me!
And Fear of being alone... this comes from the 6 years I had no contact with my son when he was suspected of doing and dealing drugs. I do have contact with him now, and he appears to be clean. Can I trust him? Maybe. It's certainly not necessary right now if I do or not. And I love my new daughter-in-law and can definitely trust her (she's VERY level headed - plans out things), and now there's the new grandchild who's quickly growing up before my eyes. Yep, I won't be alone.
So after having gone through the above list, I realized that I only had to fear my FEAR. And being the mountain biker and hiker that I have for the past 20 years, I realized that like any adventure, the scariest part is just standing there thinking about the "what if's". So ok! Taking the first "steps forward" today!
Fear of financial insecurity.
Fear of health since I don't have any health insurance (couldn't afford it)
Fear of biking alone in the forest with no one knowing where or when to look for me if I got hurt.
Fear of dating.
Fear of just being alone as I grow older.
And as midnight came closer, I started thinking about my "truths".
For example, is anyone really financially secure? The reason I felt secure was because I had a plan for emergencies, like losing a job. So the solution to this is to create a plan that will work for me (save whenever possible). And as I fear the "between now and then", I'm reminding myself that when I moved here 19 years ago, we scraped to get by, ran into major difficulties, had no support but we got through FINE. So I KNOW I can do it again.
Fear of health? Well, listening to the radio the other day, they talked about others who hadn't had insurance for over 10 years. They get through. And so, I plan to take VERY good care of myself this year, eat healthy, exercise, and cautiously ride my bike on the tough trails so that I can master my skills and not crash, lol....
And along those lines... Fear of biking alone? This fear comes from a missing person in our area. She lived alone and on October 4th just disappeared. The news of it has been freaking me out! And yet, I've been biking alone for almost 2 decades now, in mountain lion country (I've seen 3 lions so far). All I needed is someone to know when I left, where I'm going, how long I'd be gone. My solution is to send the details to my son and daughter-in-law so they know to call me on my cell phone (or I can call them) if I get behind or have anything concerning happen, and I'm going to try to connect with other bikers so I won't be alone out there.
Fear of dating... Opening myself to more hurt/betrayal? Opening my emotions/private side up to someone else? TERRIFYING. A friend said to me that when her husband passed away when she was in her 40's (she's 80 now) she felt the same way... so she didn't date! She just focused on her family, and said she was happy she made that decision. Sounds good to me!
And Fear of being alone... this comes from the 6 years I had no contact with my son when he was suspected of doing and dealing drugs. I do have contact with him now, and he appears to be clean. Can I trust him? Maybe. It's certainly not necessary right now if I do or not. And I love my new daughter-in-law and can definitely trust her (she's VERY level headed - plans out things), and now there's the new grandchild who's quickly growing up before my eyes. Yep, I won't be alone.
So after having gone through the above list, I realized that I only had to fear my FEAR. And being the mountain biker and hiker that I have for the past 20 years, I realized that like any adventure, the scariest part is just standing there thinking about the "what if's". So ok! Taking the first "steps forward" today!
Replies
I like how you move your fears over to solution based thinking. I need to get in the habit.
You need to take up mountain biking! LOL! It gets you in the habit of looking for the \"line\"... meaning that when you ride a very technical trail (rocks, roots, twists, hills), you watch for the best way to handle it, plan for it. If I stray from that \"line\", I have an accident (fall off, stop dead, smack my pedals or my extremities, lol). I\'m finding that life works in much the same way, lol.