My mother's house during childhood
When my parents bought the house on Dean Avenue, it was full of furniture. Since my parents already had furniture, this gave us twice as much as we needed.
The excess furniture was crammed into the Sun Porch and basement, after every room in the house was crammed with furniture, so that the excess formed a cramped space, both on the Sun Porch and the basement, that you had to turn sideways in order to pass through.
Now, my mother had an excess of drawer space, therefore, she had to pack all the furniture with things. the most prevailant things were excess linens and craft supplies.
My mother spent a great deal of her life sitting in front of the television crafting things. The primary things were quilts and afghans, some of which were quite lovely. There was also some needlepoint, but she stopped that early on when her eyesight started to go.
She moved from Dean Avenue to Hillcrest in the late 70's or early 80's, and gave me some of the furniture, as well as a great deal of other things, which helped me out a great deal.
Hillcrest, however, had a finished basement, which was also packed so tightly that you had to turn sideways to get through. This was a 2 bedroom ranch, with a sun porch and finished basement, in which there were 2 additional bedrooms.
All of this ranch house was packed to the rafters, so when they moved to Belfast in the late 80's, it took quite a few vehicles to get all the stuff moved with them. They stayed in Belfast for 20 years, and during that time it was rare for my mother to throw anything away.
I remember going up to help my mother clear out when she decided to move to Raymond Rd, and we filled truckloads of rubbish which should, by rights, been thrown out as it occurred, yet my mother had been saving these things.
When I say rubbish, I mean empty milk bottles and broken objects, as well as old mattresses and things of that nature. She had not disposed of any of it, and it could not be transported the 250 miles to Raymond Road, but that house was a 2 bedroom ranch, also with a Sun Room, which was made into the "TV Room", in which my parents spent most of their remaining lives.
My father passed after only a couple of years on Raymond Road, and it has been about 12 years since. During the last 12 years, my mother did pare down the stockpile of objects, but there is still way too much furniture. I'm in that house, and have been going through things while she is in the nursing home, to see if there is anything that can be sold to raise money for her stay in the nursing home - they charge an enormous amount of money, as if it were a hotel suite.
She still has a great deal of excess linens, which she rarely uses. Some of these are doilies and table scarfs, and the like, which are still brand new but stained with age.
None of the furniture is actually antique, but most of it is pretty old. The few newer pieces of furniture are small, prefab deals (like the tv stand and the extra cabinet in the kitchen), and selling it would be a lot of bother for little gain.
My mother wasted a great deal of money since my father passed. She also gave away truckloads of possessions. The basement has only about 1/4 of what it had when she moved in, and most of what is left is not worth much.
The lesson that I have learned in life is that it is better to hoard cash than objects. Mind you, I haven't done so well on that score myself, but looking at the way that she managed her finances is eye-opening.
My mother sits there, in her wheelchair, waiting to come home. Since she cannot or will not aid in her own care, I can't let her come home without arranging a great deal of assistance for her. There is no way that I can handle that amount of care without neglecting both my child and myself.
She has been sitting there, waiting for someone to take care of her, for a good, long time. Looking back upon her life, this is something that she has always wanted - for someone else to do all the work so that she didn't have to.
Convincing my mother, at this point, that she has to try to do these things when she doesn't want to is nearly pointless. All I want her to do is contribute to her own care, like being able to walk (there is no reason she cannot walk, physically, other than atrophy).
So, here I sit, trying to manage this mess and being unable. When we move out of here, I'm probably going to be stuck taking a lot of her furniture with me, because I won't be able to sell it, anyway, and the house will be sold, eventually.
But I will have to hire people to move me, because I cannot manage it by myself, and there is nobody to help me otherwise.
I suppose that it is alright, because most of my furniture was ruined in Maine, so I'm not complaining. I will be able to set up a decent, two bedroom apartment with this furniture, but there will be a great deal of excess, which will need to go somewhere.
The excess furniture was crammed into the Sun Porch and basement, after every room in the house was crammed with furniture, so that the excess formed a cramped space, both on the Sun Porch and the basement, that you had to turn sideways in order to pass through.
Now, my mother had an excess of drawer space, therefore, she had to pack all the furniture with things. the most prevailant things were excess linens and craft supplies.
My mother spent a great deal of her life sitting in front of the television crafting things. The primary things were quilts and afghans, some of which were quite lovely. There was also some needlepoint, but she stopped that early on when her eyesight started to go.
She moved from Dean Avenue to Hillcrest in the late 70's or early 80's, and gave me some of the furniture, as well as a great deal of other things, which helped me out a great deal.
Hillcrest, however, had a finished basement, which was also packed so tightly that you had to turn sideways to get through. This was a 2 bedroom ranch, with a sun porch and finished basement, in which there were 2 additional bedrooms.
All of this ranch house was packed to the rafters, so when they moved to Belfast in the late 80's, it took quite a few vehicles to get all the stuff moved with them. They stayed in Belfast for 20 years, and during that time it was rare for my mother to throw anything away.
I remember going up to help my mother clear out when she decided to move to Raymond Rd, and we filled truckloads of rubbish which should, by rights, been thrown out as it occurred, yet my mother had been saving these things.
When I say rubbish, I mean empty milk bottles and broken objects, as well as old mattresses and things of that nature. She had not disposed of any of it, and it could not be transported the 250 miles to Raymond Road, but that house was a 2 bedroom ranch, also with a Sun Room, which was made into the "TV Room", in which my parents spent most of their remaining lives.
My father passed after only a couple of years on Raymond Road, and it has been about 12 years since. During the last 12 years, my mother did pare down the stockpile of objects, but there is still way too much furniture. I'm in that house, and have been going through things while she is in the nursing home, to see if there is anything that can be sold to raise money for her stay in the nursing home - they charge an enormous amount of money, as if it were a hotel suite.
She still has a great deal of excess linens, which she rarely uses. Some of these are doilies and table scarfs, and the like, which are still brand new but stained with age.
None of the furniture is actually antique, but most of it is pretty old. The few newer pieces of furniture are small, prefab deals (like the tv stand and the extra cabinet in the kitchen), and selling it would be a lot of bother for little gain.
My mother wasted a great deal of money since my father passed. She also gave away truckloads of possessions. The basement has only about 1/4 of what it had when she moved in, and most of what is left is not worth much.
The lesson that I have learned in life is that it is better to hoard cash than objects. Mind you, I haven't done so well on that score myself, but looking at the way that she managed her finances is eye-opening.
My mother sits there, in her wheelchair, waiting to come home. Since she cannot or will not aid in her own care, I can't let her come home without arranging a great deal of assistance for her. There is no way that I can handle that amount of care without neglecting both my child and myself.
She has been sitting there, waiting for someone to take care of her, for a good, long time. Looking back upon her life, this is something that she has always wanted - for someone else to do all the work so that she didn't have to.
Convincing my mother, at this point, that she has to try to do these things when she doesn't want to is nearly pointless. All I want her to do is contribute to her own care, like being able to walk (there is no reason she cannot walk, physically, other than atrophy).
So, here I sit, trying to manage this mess and being unable. When we move out of here, I'm probably going to be stuck taking a lot of her furniture with me, because I won't be able to sell it, anyway, and the house will be sold, eventually.
But I will have to hire people to move me, because I cannot manage it by myself, and there is nobody to help me otherwise.
I suppose that it is alright, because most of my furniture was ruined in Maine, so I'm not complaining. I will be able to set up a decent, two bedroom apartment with this furniture, but there will be a great deal of excess, which will need to go somewhere.
Replies