My mood today

I am feeling alright.  I woke up early, around 9:20.  It is early for me as I used to wake up at 11 or so.  But now it was ok.  I am sleeping better. I am still on 100 mg Seroquel but I need to go up to 150 today.  I hope that I will be fine.  However my major concern is that my depression has been some what aleviated by the meds and not by something meaningful, for instance a new relationship with a psychiatrist that gives me hope or an outlook that is hopeful.  I am worried to when my suicidal thoughts are going to come again and I am very afraid about it.  Is it possible that I don't feel depressed again and suicidal?  Is that even possible?  My depression got to an all time low and it became suicidal when my dad totally destroyed me with his words and I felt unable to counter him.  I got to a very low point then.  Then I became suicidal because I knew that the feeling was there to stay.  Is it possible that I will have remission from it.  I don't believe so because at that point my suicidal thoughts became more as a belief than simply a biological change in my mood.  I am so worried about it and I have been learning very bad thought patterns in my current mood that I prefer that they don't stay with me.  I hope that there is hope.  My mood is ok.  Here I have changed it to OK.  The first time since a looonnggg time.  At least I am writing this is a consistant thing that I am doing daily.  Maybe it would be a good thing to keep this up if I can.  Or alternatively have a dream journal to put down my dreams everyday when I wake up.  I don't know what is the prognosis but I hope that it is a positive one.